One String Attached

82.

.Riley.

"I met Riley in university," Bryson begins to say, directing his verdict to the head Judge while I sat down beside James, still clutching onto his hand. "Riley was right. She was eighteen and I was nineteen but she was only a month or two younger than me."

He looks at me with a scowl, causing me to immediately break eye-contact and look away, making him do the same, shaking himself rid of his thoughts.

"She would constantly look at me whenever she saw me around and she would give me a smile and obviously, me owning a teenage mind back then would take it as though she was flirtatiously trying to get to know me.

I never commented on her dressing in a bad way. I'd call her gorgeous, beautiful, maybe some words like hot or sexy sometimes but she never brushed me away. She would always give me a look with a glint in her eyes, a blush on her cheeks and it never went away. I would have never thought she even had a boyfriend because she never signalled that to me in the first place."

Bullshit. It was all lies.

If there was ever a glint in my eyes, it wouldn't have been because I was 'flirting'. If I was ever blushing, it was because I was embarrassed and uncomfortable. I never told him I had a boyfriend at the time but I never told him anything because I never wanted to interact with him in the first place.
Who would?

I watch as the judge takes notes on everything he was saying and I close my eyes, trying my best to control my breathing.
There was no way this could have been happening. There was no way he would actually take Bryson's words into consideration over mine. Right?

"I would like to address the clothes verdict, Mr. Peters," the judge intervenes, looking at him sternly with a raised eyebrow. "You do understand this isn't the 1960s? Ladies and females of any age are allowed to go their day wearing whatever it is they may approve of without seeking the general attention of the public."

"She enjoyed the attention, your honour," Bryson says, making me reopen my eyes to look at him.
He was lying again. He couldn't dictate my feelings for me. He doesn't own my heart or mind to say such a thing.

"Elaborate?" the judge asks, making me swallow, looking down, not wanting to hear any other word yet to leave Bryson's mouth.

"Had she felt uncomfortable about the way I was treating her or the misuse of words I was using when talking to her, she would have dressed down. But it seemed she only ever went to a higher extent when she went out with friends."
Bryson gives me yet another piercing look, enough to rupture my brain as it begins to pound inside my head.

"Okay, I'd like to talk about the claims of sexual assault, Mrs. Davis," the Judge nods in my direction, making me nod my head too as Bryson sits back down in between his lawyer and Whitney. I still had no idea what that girl was doing here but I wanted more than anything for her to leave.
This was a private family matter - one she should have no say in.

Standing up, I bite my lip before beginning to give my next statement. "The first time I was forced into bed with Bryson-"
"Participated to get into bed with him," Bryson's lawyer cuts in, making me narrow my eyes.

"Forced to," I exaggerate, making sure everyone in the room understood. "I was still in a relationship with my at-the-time boyfriend, James. He and I were partially on and off because of issues I was having around that time. I wasn't well. I was going through things, my mental health was bad, I'd been separated from the people I'd loved most and dealing with life on my own was hard for me.

I skipped dinner most nights, stopped eating breakfast in the mornings, didn't take care of myself or my body, stayed up all night studying because I was scared of falling asleep and I went to the extremes of isolating myself from everyone, James included. I'd always found long distance relationships hard and it was proven during that period of time."

I peer over at Bryson and Whitney from out of the corner of my eye and I sigh, breathing out, letting the words fall from out of my mouth. "He took advantage of me, of my state of mind at the time and he used me. He knew I wasn't okay mentally and so he used me and other innocent girls for his pleasure."

"Harassing someone until they feel belittled and making them do things to one's pleasure counts as abuse," Nathan steps up for me, putting his own piece forwards to corroborate my point.
"Mrs. Davis was abused and sexually assaulted. She may not have said no but she never officially said yes either. She didn't intend to get into bed with him or participate in any kind of sexual activity with Mr. Peters but it happened because she thought it would help get rid of the pain she was already suffering from previously."

The judge turns his head and faces me with a knowing look in his eyes, as if he could understand me on a deeper level.
"Do you regret ever meeting Mr. Peters, Mrs. Davis?" he asks me, causing me to shake my head in an instant.
I regretted a lot of things but Bryson as a person was not one of them. I'd been asked that question several times in the past and it was always a no brainer answer.

"Regretting Bryson would mean regretting Aaliyah, my first daughter," I begin to say, looking directly into the judge's eyes. No one else mattered right now. It was just the love I had for my daughter that needed to be heard and seen right now.
"I love Aaliyah with all my heart and no matter what he and I have been through in the past or are yet to go through in the future, I would never regret having my first baby. She's one of the best things to ever happen to me."

The judge nods his head and offers me a small smile before looking down at his notes, scribbling something down as the solicitors beside him each do the same, writing down their own views of the situation.
"Good answer," Nathan whispers to me discreetly, causing me to smile to myself before I look down at James who still seemed to be awfully silent.

I knew talking about my ex so thoroughly wouldn't have been one of the most comfortable things for him but I wouldn't have thought it would impact him this much...

. . .

Later in the evening when we were home, James and I were in our room with me curled up in the duvet with a book while he sat on the edge of the bed, thinking about something.
He had been absent-minded all day, I just didn't know why. I needed to find out as soon as possible though.

"Babe," I whisper to him softly, moving my hand over to place on his thigh after closing the reading book shut.
He turns his head around to face me before humming in response, looking at me curiously, the same way I was looking at him. "Something wrong?" I ask him, making him sigh and shake his head.

"I'm okay, Ri," he tells me. He moves my hand off of his thigh, cupping it in his palms before kissing it gently, stroking his thumbs over my skin.
But for some reason, something was stopping me from believing him...

"Mummy," a small voice calls from behind the door, causing me to look up as the door freaks open to reveal my daughter.
Autumn was already asleep in her cot while Asher was fast asleep in bed. Aaliyah, however, was clearly worried about everything going on around her at the moment. "I can't sleep," she tells James and I with a pout, making us both roll our eyes before James chuckles and stands up, letting go of my hand to walk over to our little girl and pick her up, throwing her onto his shoulder.

"Why can't you sleep, princess?" he asks her as he tickled her, making her giggle while I laughed at them softly with a small smile on my face.
"I don't know. I want to sleep with you and Mummy," she admits. I shuffle up on the bed, letting James sit down on the spare space beside me before throwing Aaliyah in the middle of us.

"Ten minutes, darling, okay? Then you can go to your room," I tell her, stroking her hair lightly.
So often, I focused on Asher far too much and neglected Aaliyah half the time. It was time I learnt to break that barrier and show Liyah I loved her just as much. It's all very well saying it but she needs to feel it and that's what I aim to do every second from now.

"Ten minutes," she agrees with a smile on her face before shuffling up nearer to me and draping her arms around my body, burying her head into my chest while I stroked her back and pressed kisses to her hair.

I love her... And I can't lose her to him.
I won't.