One String Attached

57.

.James.

I don't know where Riley had chosen to go this early in the morning but I know that as soon as she gets home, she and I have a long overdue conversation to encounter.

I knew I had done wrong and that I didn't exactly make the best decision when it came to listening to Eldon's advice but that doesn't mean I don't love Riley just because of some drunken act I found myself doing.
I didn't have any feelings for that girl when I did it, there was nothing there apart from the increasing need of some sort of distraction from all of the dramas taking place in our lives.

I managed to gather that Ri had taken Autumn along with her but since the pushchair was still here, I figured she had taken her in either the baby-wrap or the carrier.

Aaliyah had only just woken up a couple of minutes ago and as she makes her way down the stairs, her younger brother follows along behind her.
They each quickly rush over to the sofa once they step foot on the ground floor, totally ignoring me being too excited to turn on the TV and watch their regular early morning kids' show.

I try to keep myself compact as I keep my eyes on them whilst I open one of the cupboards in the kitchen conjoined to the lounge to start making their breakfasts.
I'd been checking the time ever since I had heard Riley creep down the stairs and leave, but she must have been out for at least two hours now as it had only just turned ten-thirty.

Listening to the sounds leaving the TV screen, I hear Asher's giggles in the background along with Aaliyah's chatter while they both sat beside each other, each of them in their pyjama onesies still, and it causes there to be a slight grip at my heart.
I wanted to hear those samples of laughter everyday while we all sat on the sofa with Asher pointing his tiny fingers at the screen and Aaliyah constantly told him to 'move his head out of the way'. I didn't want it to all come to an end.

When I set the kids' bowls of Cornflakes for Liyah and Coco Pops for Ash down on the table, I turn around, about to call the two of them over to come and eat at the kitchen island, but that was before I see Sauble jump from the sofa to the hearth as he begins to crawl across the top of the fireplace where all of the photo frames had been arranged.

Then he gets to the one near Riley and I's photo of us holding each other by the arms on the day of our wedding after we had shared our first kiss as a married couple, looking into each other's eyes, and then his paw brushes the frame. 
That photo wasn't just a normal one like all the others. Mum had ordered it from the photographers so it was like a 3-D glass portrait. 

"Sauble, no," I scold, watching as he hits at the photo, causing the stand to shake slightly. 

Asher and Aaliyah both jump off of the sofa simultaneously, beginning to make their way over to the dining table at the same time as there's the sound of a car puling up outside of the house.
But at the quickness of the kids' footsteps and all the noises together at once, the cat jumps and clambers off the hearth back down onto the floor so abruptly that his tail knocks against it, causing the stand to start shaking again, this time more rapidly.

Before I have the chance to prevent it from happening, it all happens within the blink of an eye as the frame falls, collapsing and landing on the foot of the fireplace, the glass shattering into pieces while the 3-D of it all dissolves and fades into nothing but a blur.
I freeze, watching.

The engraved writing at the bottom of the frame which once read the words 'my heart is yours' had several cracks in them.
The one memoire Ri and I had ever truly treasured the most had broken in the same way it felt like our marriage was beginning to.

Just then, the front door opens and then shuts and when I lift my head up, I find Riley stood there, holding Autumn against her chest with our girl's tiny body covered in her cotton white bunny blanket.
The second Ri looks around and takes in the whole scenery of the cat scurrying away, the kids sat with their mouths open in shock, myself in a still freeze frame and the shattered image on the hard ground, her eyes eventually land back on me.

And when they do, she shakes her head fiercely, her eyes incredulously stern.
"We need to talk," she tells me. I nod.

. . .

The two of us sat on the edge of the bed upstairs, our knees brushing each other's as they faced inwards. We were both waiting for the other person to be the first to speak and say something, but we had been meaning to talk properly for so long now that there was just too much for us to say and process. 
I was waiting for Riley to say something first, but she seemed to be waiting for me.

I didn't know where to begin. Whether to start talking about the broken glass or the girl in the bar. All I knew was that this talk could be the make or break of our marriage. And I really didn't want it to be the latter.

"I was with Nathan," she starts off after a moment's silence.
I look at her, confused and waiting for her to elaborate. "I want to take this to court, James," she tells me.

The second the worse leave her lips, I begin to panic and was about to interrupt and say something but before I had the chance, she took a firm hold of my hands and continued with the shake of her head.
"Not the situation with us. I mean the thing to do with Bryson. I don't want him anywhere near the kids, especially Autumn," she says, eventually bringing her eyes to look at me properly.

Once we look at each other, she bites her lip, reminding me of the young, timid girl I used to date - the one who grew anxious so frequently over every little thing and it used to annoy some people. But I was the one person who was captivated by her, I found her quirks adorable and her flaws only seemed to make her more beautiful. I was the one person who's ever been this patient with her.
It's only fair that she's patient with me now too.

Now I've watched her grow into this strong, independent mother of three and she may have changed, but my love for her hasn't. My love for anything else will never compare to the love I have for Riley. I love the children with all my heart but they wouldn't be here without Ri.
They wouldn't be who they are without her either. She's shaped them into becoming these three little heart-warming pipsqueaks and I can't help but feel like if they didn't have her for a mother, they'd be in a completely different position right now.

"Let me tell you something, James," she whispers, intertwining our fingers together.
I look at her curiously and wait for her to continue, not wanting to ruin this moment. I still had the smallest bit of hope that we would be able to work things out. I didn't want to break things now.

"I love you, okay," she tells me, looking into my eyes and making my heart simmer.
"I love you too," I whisper back.

"And that's why I need you. We need a united front with this otherwise Bryson could easily win and get his hands on the children. I want him to have restrictions, I want him as far away from them as possible. If that means us having to move house to go to another country then so be it. What I don't want to happen is for us to separate and have our relationship affect the children. I love them and I love you so I don't see why we should take to the extremes of ending things so hastily."
"I understand that," I tell her, placing my hand on her knee lightly. She looks at it and then inhales, her breath hitching slightly.

"But I'm going to need you to give me some time to forgive you," she says, looking up at me. "Because what you did was totally-"
"-Uncalled for, I know. But I promise you now, I'm sorry. If I could take it back, I would, Ri. I think you and I both know that."

"It was Bryson who showed me the picture in the first place," she admits with the shake of her head. "I don't know if he followed you that night or what, but he obviously showed me that image to try and separate us. He wants to divide us, it's what he's been wanting for a long time with the hope that I'll crash again and it'll make it a lot easier for him to grow closer to Aaliyah. So if you really are sorry and you mean it when you tell me that you regret it, then you'll stay by me and support me in going to court."

She looks at me, reading every single inch of my face as I nod my head.

"I'll support you no matter what," I tell her before leaning in as she does the same to press our lips together for the first time in weeks.

It was progress.