Promise

Chapter 25

Now that my dad had finally brought up the fact I was cutting school, it was hard for me to ditch any periods the remainder of the week. I was trying to find the right time to get my necklace back ever since Chris asked me about it. Asking Jay to give it back to me was out of the question so my only hope was asking Naomi. Although she was Jay's sister she'd never given me any vibes I shouldn't trust her. She was also the one who'd called the police when Jay took me against my will and prevented him  from causing me any further harm that night.
It was over the weekend when I texted her asking if she could find out if Jay had my necklace. I was surprised when she agreed to look for it for me and by Sunday she wanted  me to meet her. I debated whether I should tell anyone what I was doing. I knew Jay had tricks up his sleeve but Naomi  agreed to meet me at a local cafe so I didn't have to worry about being alone at least in a public area.
I took a bus and on the way there Darius called but I didn't feel like answering. I texted him instead once the ringer went off telling him I was catching up on homework.
As soon as I stepped off the bus I already saw Naomi. She was sitting right by the window. I hesitated wishing she'd chosen a more inconspicuous spot. I opened the door to the cafe and we made eye contact.
"Hi," Naomi said as I approached the table.
"Hi," I said. I slowly pushed the chair back and sat down.
"How have you been?"
I shrugged slightly. I hadn't expected much chit chat. Naomi and I had never even had more than a casual conversation before.
"Could be better," I replied. I cleared my throat. "How about you? You're not in school anymore."
"I'm actually coming back," Naomi said. "Mom convinced the principal to let me take some weeks off and I've been getting my work done at home."
"Oh."
The obvious thought I had lingered in the air. I wondered if that meant Jay would be coming back as well. I suddenly regretted coming here and finding out this information.
"Well, I know why you're here so..." Naomi reached into the pocket of her puffer jacket and held my necklace out to me.
"Thank you," I said. I carefully took it from her hand and opened it. The picture of my mom was still in tacked. I somewhat expected Jay to do something crazy with it like replace her photo with one of us. I put the necklace around my neck while Naomi watched me.
"I had to go into his room to get that," she said. "While he was gone. Which isn't often nowadays."
I knew where this conversation was headed.
Naomi continued, "I couldn't even find it at first his room is an absolute mess most of the time. He's a mess."
"I have to go," I said.
"Don't you care how he's doing?"
I flashed her an annoyed look but I felt bad when I saw the genuine expression behind her eyes. At the end of the day she was innocent in all this and maybe she actually did like me.
"Naomi, your brother isn't any of my concern anymore," I said. "We're done."
"Right," Naomi said.
I raised an eyebrow at her tone.
"I mean, you guys always get back together I just think it's been long enough," she said.
"We're not some on again off again couple," I snapped.
"I didn't mean it like that-"
"Why are you even defending him? What do you want from me?"
Now I could see why Jay could get away with all he'd done. He had a bunch of enablers in his circle-in his family.
"I'm sorry," Naomi said. She looked down and shook her head. "The house just isn't normal anymore. My dad and him argue almost every night, Jay hates our mom even more than he did before. And I'm just...alone."
I couldn't help but feel bad for her.
"I'm sure Jay will get over this," I said softly. "He has to."
"He won't," Naomi said. "That's why I think you should talk to him, maybe see him in person."
"That's not a good idea. I'm trying my best to move on, I still have my life, my own relationship."
Naomi's interest peeked at the word relationship and I closed my mouth. I was starting to get uncomfortable.
"I have to go," I said, standing up. "Don't tell anyone you met me, okay? Please."
She nodded but she was already looking out the window thinking who knows what. I walked outside and sat at the bench waiting on the next bus, shivering from both the weather and the conversation Naomi had with me.
I was ready to move on from Jay completely. He never proved to me he could control his anger. And being kidnapped on my birthday was the last straw. I knew he loved me but the way he showed it was wrong and I felt I was finally seeing that especially being with Darius.
After catching the bus back home I couldn't help but smile to myself as I walked up my porch thinking of Darius and how close we'd become. But the feeling didn't last long when I walked inside the house and saw him sitting in the living room with Chris. I was supposed to be in my room doing homework.
"There you are," Darius said when he saw me standing in the hallway. He stood up from the couch and came over to give me a hug. "Where have you been? I brought you a burrito to keep you energized while you did your work."
My stomach sank at the kind gesture but I smiled up at him.
"I went for a walk," I said.
"You were gone a while though."
I turned around and started walking to my room and Darius followed me. I didn't know what he wanted me to say. Okay I wasn't honest where I was but why did he have to question me about it? And why did I feel the familiar feeling I got with Jay when he always wanted to know my every move.
When we walked into my room I turned on the light.
"I don't see any textbooks laying around," Darius pointed out.
"And?" I asked. "You're being a little ridiculous." I took my jacket off and Darius remained near the doorway.
"And I just wanted to know where you were for so long," he said. "Cause I care about you. I guess that makes me ridiculous. Unless you were doing something you don't want me to know about. With someone else." Darius stared hard at me.
"What are you accusing me of?" I asked.
"You didn't want to hang out with me yesterday and then today-"
"Yesterday I was busy doing homework." And it was the truth. The only reason I didn't invite him was because we would get distracted and he knew that.
"Yeah, homework your favorite thing to do apparently," Darius said sarcastically.
I didn't say anything and started organizing the things on my desk, trying to distract myself to avoid letting the vulnerable feeling I felt building in my stomach get even worse. I heard Darius walk up behind me and he turned me around gently.
"I get worried about you," he said.
"I understand, I'm sorry," I said. "I'm not used to good intentions anymore."
"I don't like arguing."
"Me neither." We smiled at each other and it felt good just looking into his eyes and seeing a normal warm color rather than the dark intense stare Jay would've been giving me if we were in this situation. How could anyone ever expect me to go back to him when I had this.
***
Bad dreams had become a normal occurrence for me and it wasn't ever easy getting sleep. Tonight wasn't any different and I blamed my reunion with Naomi for triggering such a violent nightmare. Jay was always the focus in my dreams. It would be us years from now married with kids and me catering to his every need while he responded with violent outburst then he would apologize and the cycle would repeat. Sometimes I was able to force myself to wake up but most nights it was hard. Even in my dreams I couldn't completely escape and I'd sometimes wake up crying.
I suddenly jolted awake and sat up in my bed, looking around my dark room. My curtains were wide open and the only light came from the moon and the streetlights. I'd never been afraid of the dark growing up but at this moment I was. I quickly settled back into my comforter feeling cold and like the energy was off.  It would be hard for me to fall back asleep.
I sighed and pat the spot next to me where I'd last had my phone before falling asleep. I let out a frustrated groan when I couldn't feel it on my sheets then reached over to click on the lamp on my nightstand. I sat up again and blinked as the sudden brightness lit in the room and I scanned around, my body relaxing when I saw nothing was out of the ordinary. I almost considered looking under the bed but thought that would be childish. I slowly stepped one foot off the bed then the other one and finally stood up. I shook my comforter out and my phone fell onto the carpeted floor. I bent down to grab it, stealing a peek under the bed and laughing to myself when I saw nothing there. I grabbed my airpods from my desk and settled back into bed before turning the light off.
I laid on my back and scrolled until I found a peaceful podcast to fall asleep to on low volume. It didn't take long before I felt myself drifting back to sleep slowly, my breathing getting slower and mind getting clearer. I was almost there until I heard it.
The slow creak of my closet door. The noise it made only when it was being opened. I tried to ignore it by keeping my eyes closed and I used my blanket to cover me as I removed my earphones. Then I heard the soft sound of the closet door being shut and my heart started pounding. But worst of all I heard footsteps. Slowly getting closer to my bed and I could tell when they stopped walking, feel someone looking over me with my back turned. I kept my breaths slow to pretend I was still asleep because whoever this was wasn't making any move towards my bedroom door. I managed to keep my composure until I felt a hand reaching to move the blanket from my face and I sat straight up, banging my head on my headboard. My first instinct was to scream but a hand already covered my mouth.
"Amore, it's me," Jay's voice filled the darkness.
When he said that, I panicked even more and tried pulling his hand away from my mouth but Jay resisted and he got onto my bed to gain more momentum, pushing me on my back.
"Stop it, I just want to talk," he said hastily.
A person who wants to talk doesn't hide in closets. And I was sure he didn't want to talk until he saw I was awake. What I wasn't sure of was his intentions if I hadn't woken up. It made me wonder if the nights I'd woken up feeling as if I wasn't alone were justifiable feelings. I doubt this was Jay's first time finding his way into my room and I knew it definitely wasn't his first time finding some secret way into my house.
"Look, I'm moving my hand," Jay said. He stared at me and through the small light coming in from outside I could see his eyes. They looked...normal. "You going to scream?"
I shook my head no and Jay hesitated.
"I didn't come here to hurt you," Jay said with his hand still covering my mouth. "And we wouldn't want you to wake everyone up and start a big problem, right?"
We stared at each other and I nodded. A part of me still wanted to comply. What would happen if I screamed? Cops would be called. And with my past experience, I somehow would be blamed as well for "letting" Jay in.
So when Jay finally moved his hand away from my mouth I think we were both surprised when I didn't make a noise. When he realized he could trust me, Jay got off me and I immediately started shaking. I wanted to reach over and turn my light on. I didn't like how I could barely see but I knew Jay was hovering over my bed, waiting for me to react somehow so I stayed still.
"Thank you for not screaming," he said. He sat down next to me and I looked away.
"You need to get out of here," I said. "I have a restraining order on you."
"You mean, the temporary one? The one that will be lifted next week."
I finally made eye contact with Jay realizing he was right.
"So? I-I still don't-" I stopped myself. I had to choose my words carefully. I knew how Jay got any time I implied I wanted nothing to do with him. "You hurt me," I said. "I don't want to be hurt anymore."
"It will never happen again," Jay said. "I can't be without you and I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done to you."
I was caught off guard when Jay reached over to touch my face and I flinched. He quickly moved his hand away.
"That's not enough to convince me," I croaked.
"What do I do gotta do then?" Jay asked, ignoring my clear state of fear as he sat closer to me on my bed. "You were my first love, remember? Just give me another chance."
I kept quiet, feeling my eyes tear up. I blinked them away trying not to fall for it. "It" being his nice act.  I couldn't. Not when I had Darius. Who had been treating me so nice the past month I'd been rid of Jay.
"No," I said firmly, staring Jay in the face.
Surprise, irritation, confusion. I saw at least three different emotions pass over Jay's face but it was his eyes I was focused on. I remember how nice they would look at me and how easy it was for me to look into them and see someone I loved. And I couldn't deny that's how he was looking at me now. He almost looked like the old Jay.
"My dad wants to kick me out," he said quietly. "I just need you."
I thought about what Naomi had told me earlier. I thought about Jay's past relationship with his dad and my heart felt for him. For once, he looked defeated. I slowly placed my hand on his back and rubbed it comfortingly. Jay looked at me and smiled and there was this instinct I had  to smile back. He was looking at me the way he used to and all this time I'd been scared to ever come across him again when at this moment I felt okay being around him.
However, I also felt guilt. Darius had just been in my room, now here was Jay sitting on my bed  apparently looking for a shoulder to cry on staring at me with those eyes of his. I moved my hand off Jay's back and felt my face flush.
"I have school in the morning," I said. "I think it's time you go."
"I can stay until you fall back asleep," Jay offered.
I gave him a look. Did he not understand how incredibly creepy that was. Matter of fact, he'd just been hiding in my closet which we'd yet to address. My earlier fears started to come back up my stomach.
"Jay, how did you even get in here?" I asked lowly.
"Don't worry, you caught me. Not like I can do this again," Jay stated with a sly smile.
I got quiet then I felt Jay grab my hand.
"I'm happy you're talking to me again," he said. "Maybe we can hangout sometime when you get out of school. I can take you out."
I couldn't find it in me to tell him that I was with Darius. I wondered if he knew. What he would do if he knew because clearly he was still stuck in la-la land. I moved my hand from his and looked down. Jay stared at me for a moment but when he realized I wasn't saying anything he stood up and quietly walked to my bedroom door and left my room. I could hear him walking around into the living room and I remained frozen. He most definitely had done this before, he was too comfortable waking around my house in the dark. His footsteps went away and I assumed he'd entered the kitchen and left out the doors leading into the backyard. A few minutes later I could hear a familiar engine roaring to life in the distance and I finally relaxed.
Jay was gone for now.

I was tired that morning  and all throughout the day and Darius could tell. I hadn't said much today, I was still thinking about my encounter with Jay. He was so good at catching me off guard and I now had to go back to looking over my shoulder every second.
"You've been quiet today," Darius said.
"I'm just tired," I said.
"Let's just go to my place then and take a nap. I don't have to go to this stupid basketball meeting." He took my hands and pulled me closer to him.
"Noo, go to it. I'll wait for you in the library."
Darius smiled and gave me another kiss before walking inside of the gym where I could hear a bunch of excited commotion and basketballs dribbling. I walked to the library and got a head start on the new book I saw we'd be starting this week in English class. I  waited on Darius to text me that the meeting was done. The basketball season had just started and now he would have something else to focus on other than me. I was happy for him honestly because I felt like it gave him a break from dealing with my issues. It also gave me more time to focus on ending this school year on a good academic note. Darius said it was supposed to be quick since his coaches had planned it last minute so when I didn't receive a text after an hour I wondered if this meeting was being turned into a practice instead.
I checked my phone one last time before deciding to head to the gym. On the way there I had to pass the student parking lot where I spotted not only Darius's car but Darius sitting in the driver's seat with the door open. I furrowed my eyebrows and approached the driver's side. My eyes widened when Darius looked up from his phone and I saw his lip was bleeding.
"What happened?" I asked immediately putting my bag on the ground. I crouched down. "Did you get hit by a ball or something?"
"Your boyfriend," Darius said bitterly.
I gave him a confused look.
"Jay. I was walking to the library after the meeting and he came from nowhere," Darius said. "He wants me to stay away from you and when I said that's not happening he told me he was at your house last night, in your room."
I stood back up. I hadnt told anyone that Jay had basically broken into my house and watched me sleep. Nothing bad happened and I honestly wanted to forget about the whole thing. Especially since I discovered it was the fact that Chris had a habit of not locking the back door which I'd witnessed when he'd taken the trash out this morning. As long as all the doors were kept locked I couldn't imagine Jay breaking in anymore and now that I'd caught him he had no use to keep coming into my home. I thought I could handle this. I didn't want to make it anyone else's problem.
"It's not what you think," I started to say.
"So he was? In your room? In your bed?" Darius looked mad but I could tell he was forcing most of it because I mainly saw hurt on his face. "That's what he told me."
I no longer felt defensive and more offended. I expected Darius to give me the benefit of the doubt but instead I received an accusatory tone. He also must have took my brief moment of silence as an answer since now his face solely showed anger.
"You haven't even asked me what happened," I said shakily, trying not to cry.
"Why so you can lie?"
"Do you hear yourself right now? You're just speaking from jealousy and not giving me a chance. He broke into my house and just showed up-"
"So why didn't you call the police, Amore?" Darius snapped.
I looked down and couldn't hold my tears back any longer. I didn't even have an answer for myself.
"I'll take you home," Darius said, looking away from me.
I thought that meant we were okay. That he would kiss me before I went into my house. Look at me at least, but when I saw the indifferent look on his face as he pulled up to my house fifteen minutes later I knew nothing was okay. I was sure he wanted to get home already and take a shower and clean his face and forget about me.
So I got out of his car and shut the door. Once again, Jay had won.

***I keep saying this  but the book is almost done☠️ 🤣thank you everyone for your support and patience***