Promise

Chapter 27

I stayed in my room the entire weekend. I did nothing but stare at the time, wanting it to go slower. By Sunday I was paranoid and uncertain.

See you at school on Monday.

I wouldn't be there.

But what if that's what Jay expected? Me to be scared, to not show up. A part of me wanted to face him but I thought about all the times he'd caught me off guard and how fearful it made me. I did nothing but freeze up when Jay was around. I hated feeling vulnerable. I hated what he could do to me. How much control he had over me whether we were together or not. I'd done all I could to get away from Jay. Why was I allowing him to do this to me? I felt stupid and confused, angry even.

When night came, I realized I hadn't left my room all day. Chris had gotten used to giving me space and hadn't even talked about what happened after the game. My dad, on the other hand, knew something was wrong and attempted to talk to me several times during the weekend. His attempts proved to be useless each time he knocked and I ignored. I wasn't surprised when I heard him knock again later that night.

"Amore, I have dinner out here for you," my dad said from the side of the door.

"Im not hungry," I lied. I was hungry but I couldn't eat. My stomach was constantly churning and knotting up thinking about Jay I didn't want to risk not being able to hold anything down.

Ignoring my answer, my dad slowly turned the knob of my door. He poked his head in before stepping completely inside the room. He turned my light on and I squinted, pulling my blanket over my eyes.

"Dad, come on," I groaned.

"Amore, it's too dark in here," my dad said firmly. "Come out from under there."

I slowly pulled the blanket away from face and a delicious aroma hit my nose. I noticed my dad holding a bag of Chinese food.

"I haven't seen you eat all weekend, I'm worried." My dad put the bag of food on my bed and I sat up.

"I said I'm not hungry," I said meekly. My stomach decided to growl at that very moment.

Dad narrowed his eyes and took the box of food out of the bag, holding it out to me. I reluctantly took it and ate a few bites, my dad watching me.

"Thank you for the food but you don't have to watch me eat," I said, closing the box.

"I'm sorry," my dad said. He sighed, staring off in the distance. "Amore, what do you want to do?"
I thought about his question. It would be easy for me to say "I don't know" but I did know. I was tired of living in fear. I was tired of not being myself.
"I think I have to face him, Dad," I said. "I don't want to be afraid anymore."

"Do you think you can do that? Face him?" My dad asked. "You're always saying how much he scares you, I don't like to hear that. I don't want you to be in a dangerous situation again."

I thought about how Jay reacted the night of the basketball game. I hadn't liked how he'd taken my phone from me but he didn't hurt me. In the past, his immediate reaction would always be violence but yesterday he seemed under control. Especially when it came to Chris I expected Jay to want to fight him after he'd stepped in, but he hadn't. But I had to remember he had snuck into my room just a few nights ago watching me sleep. He still had a dark side to him and I didn't want to let my guard down. I still thought it was about time I stop being so scared of him. Ignoring him seemed like a good start. He had to get bored of me at some point and if not another girl could catch his attention at any time. I didn't want him to hurt anyone else but if it meant he'd leave me alone I had to admit I would be relieved. Unfortunately if I let that happen it would just force the cycle to continue.