dead poets society oneshots

would it be enough if i could never give you peace?

Neil Perry had three main rules in his life,
1. Carpe diem (duh)
2. never leave Charlie alone in a museum (speaking from experience)
and 3. Sundays are for sleeping in and cuddling Todd.
It was simple and the last one was definitely his favorite. Ever since they had started dating, sundays were spent in Todd's bed at least until 10 am. That bed being very small, they were more on top of eachother then side by side, which neither did mind though. Todd was always cold in the morning and Neil was like a human heater so they made pretty much the perfect match. This sunday was no exception. It was freezing outside, so Todd was freezing as well. He had his blanket pulled all the way up to his chin and Neil's blanket on top of that. Neil held him, giggling soflty into his hair everytime Todd shivered.

"It's so cold, my nose is gonna fall off any second and you're laughing at me." Todd gave Neil a fake dissapointed look. He pressed his, indeed ice cold nose into the croak of Neil's neck, who jerked away so fast he almost hit his head against the wall.

"You weren't lying." He pressed a kiss on Todd's nose, making him smile.

"Yeah told you so." Todd pulled the blanket over his freezing face until only his eyes were visible to which Neil cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

"Don't hide your pretty face from me." He turned to the side, leaning on his arm so he could properly look at Todd.

Todd's laugh was muffled under his blanket.
"You are so cheesy."

"I'm just telling the truth! Can't I appreciate how pretty my boyfriend is?" He could see Todd's face turning pink even under all that layers and pressed another kiss on his forehead. Neil loved kissing Todd and he did not hesitate to do it any time he felt like it. Charlie called him clingy all the time but as long as Todd would smile and blush the way he always did, Neil wouldn't ever stop.

"Sure." Todd mumbled in a sarcastic tone that made Neil frown.
"Are you implying that you're not pretty?"

"It would be kinda narcissistic to call myself that, wouldn't it?"

"You have every right to be narcissistic Todd." Neil grinned, pulled down the blanket and started kissing every part of Todd's face he could reach. His cheek, his nose, his jaw and his lips, "You're the prettiest person ever and you're allowed to say it."

"I think I love you." Neil froze mid movement, eyes wide and mouth open slightly. He didn't say anything for a whole while. Just stared and thought. Thought about what this ment. Love. He wasn't allowed to love. Not in this way. His father had teached him that ever since his first sandbox love, Daniel who he had kissed, so innocently, not thinking anything bad at all, when suddenly everyone was yelling and his dad had slapped him and told him to never ever kiss or touch or feel this way for another boy and a few weeks later, Daniel had moved away. Neil didn't understand the problem but he never let himself think about another boy again, at least until he met Todd. With Todd everything was easy and he allowed himself to forget and just live. But loving. Actually loving Todd was a different, more scary thing. He wasn't allowed to feel this.

Todd bit the inside of his cheek, clearly uncomfortable.

"I forgot, I actually promised Knox to help him with trig I'll be back." he quickly got up, not looking back at Neil, changed his pjamas into a sweater and jeans and left the room. Neil was still frozen in place. Todd loved him. And he told him he did. But Neil couldn't love him back. He just couldn't. If his father knew, he'd kill Todd and him right on the spot. It was stupid. His father wasn't here, he couldn't see what Neil was doing and couldn't hear what he was thinking and Neil didn't have a problem with being in a relationship with Todd either, why was this so bad now? He thought about it. Had he ever actually told someone he loved them before? Sure, he had told his mom and probably Charlie at some point, but that was diffrent, they were family more or less. Todd was Todd. His Todd. In conclusion, he never did feel this way for anyone before.