dead poets society oneshots

if u were a waiting room, i would never see a doctor

The waiting room was completely empty, except for the two. only nurses and doctors kept rushing in and out and the vibrant white light hanging from the ceiling kept flickering, which was giving Charlie a headache.
They had been sitting here for hours now and his back hurt from the uncomfortable chair. Todd had fallen asleep a few minutes ago or maybe just a few seconds, he didn't know, time here didn't feel real.
His stomach was growling but the vending machine was out of order and apart from that there was only a cofee machine.

He shuffled around on his chair and longed for some sleep, that he knew he wouldn't be able to get here.
He had a bad feeling about this all. If the surgery was going well, Neil would've been long done by now. A doctor would've been here hours ago. It hadn't taken them this long to take care of the scratches on Todd's arm and not even this long to give him the calmatives.
Why wasn't Neil out of surgery yet?
It couldn't possibly mean good news.

Another nurse came in and Charlie sat up a bit straighter, but she just walked through the glass door across like all of them before her.
He sighed quietly.
He had never liked hospitals. All the white and the patients, some of them on their deathbeds, while others could leave minutes after coming in and the crying loved ones, who lost the one person who ment the most to them. Charlie suddenly had the horrifying thought that soon, he might be one of them. That his best friend in the whole wide world was maybe breathing his very last breaths right in this moment, that his heart was giving out and no one was even there for him, only doctors who didn't know him, who never spoke a word to Neil, who had deserved so much more then a voilent, slow death in a car, driven by his very own boyfriend.

Charlie's eyes shifted over to Todd who was breathing calmly beside him and something in side him, hated Todd. Hated him, for driving that car and for being the one to get out of it with barley a few scratches.
Guilt filled Charlie immediately. Neil would've punched him in the gut just for thinking that.
Neil would've never hated someone for surviving a car crash, only because he wasn't sure if his best friend did.
Neil was so much better then him. Had always been. The nice one, the kind one, the completely selfless one, who was always there for all of his friends and, let's be honest everyone else.
Neil wouldn't have approved of anyone thinking that way about Todd. Because Todd was the only thing he was defensive of.
He shuffled around in his chair.
Todd made a soft noise and blinked a few times, slowly waking up. Charlie bit his tounge, trying not to get angry with Todd. this wasn't his fault. the accident wasn't his fault. neither was neil getting hurt.
Todd needed a second to remember where he was, what had happend and Charlie could tell that the medicine was starting to wear off, because his breath fastened immediately.

"Was someone here yet?" He asked, voice still a little drowsy, "Is he out of surgery?"

Charlie shook his head and Todd started bouncing his leg up and down. Up and down. Up and down.
Over and over again and it started to drive Charlie insane. He clenched his fist and opened his mouth, but before he could snap at Todd a doctor came in and for once actually stayed, looking at both of them with a look that told Charlie everything he needed to know.
He took a deep breath and instead of saying anything, just shook his head.

Todd's leg stopped bouncing and he abruptly stood up, walking away, to the bathroom a bit down the floor so fast, he was almost running.
Charlie could feel his heart beating in his throat.
He couldn't move or speak. The doctor was still talking to him, but he couldn't make out was he was saying.
The light flickerd fastly and finally gave out.
Charlie felt like the room was spinning and yet like everything was way too still.

He didn't know how long he had just sat there, not able to fully process what had happend, but Todd came back in, pale and forehead sweaty.
His face showed no sign of hurt or regret or anything.
Charlie could feel his face heat up. The anger finally overtook and he couldn't even do anything about it.
He stood up, tears prickeling in his eyes, he didn't know if out of anger or pain, but it made no difference anyway.
"I hope you're fucking happy," his voice was trembling and so were his hands, but Todd didn't move, "This is all your fucking fault, do you hear me? You fucking killed him. You killed Neil. Jesus fucking christ, Todd. Do you get that?!"
Todd just stared at him, face blank and it just made Charlie angrier. Why didn't he react? Didn't he even care that Neil was dead?
"Fucking say something!" he shouted and gave Todd a push, Todd blinked at him. He wasn't even crying, "He's dead, Todd! Do you even get that?! Do you fucking understand?! Neil is dead! And you killed him! You killed your own fucking boyfriend! Do you know how much he did for you and sacrificed for you?! And you- you killed him!"