She Use To Be Mine

CHAPTER 4 Y/N P.O.V.

The bustling of the hall way is a welcomed change to the stillness of the room I was just sitting in. Several nurses run past us, as some doctors are huddled around a board in a hall looking hopefully at it. I hear a kid crying as we pass a room, and a few hushed voices arguing about being here in another. When we reach the end of another hall we enter into a room that's dimly lit. The darkness is welcomed by my eyes, the harsh white of everything was become a bit much as we walked around. I never liked that about any medical place. All the white. It's just too bland, almost too cold, uninviting. The guy pushing my wheelchair, even though we had argued about me needing one since I could walk again but ultimately lost that battle, starts to step around to help me onto the platform of the machine. I start to walk there on my own, ignoring the aggravated grunt he gives me as he slowly follows. "You know you're still a patient right? Like there's still protocol to follow and stuff?" He finally pipes up when I start to sit on the make-shift bed thing that goes into the machine. (Lol I had no idea what this is called, and too lazy to look it up.)

"Yeah..... but no one else is here, so I totally followed protocol and didn't see anything else if you didn't?" I say with a slight hint of sarcasm.

He just holds his hands up in mock defeat as I start to lay down. He helps me adjust to where I'm suppose to be, then abruptly disappears. I hear his voice over a speaker telling me that he's starting. The machine starts up, 'Why does this always sound like a space ship, or a helicopter about to take off?' I think with a slight chuckle. I'm then yelled at to stay still. I comply with a quick roll of my eyes, trying to stay as still as possible as I start to move back into the contraption. As my head starts to go through I close my eyes focus on my breathing. When I open my eyes again I see that I'm about half way through the machine; overwhelmed with anxiety and fear my breathing starts to pick up as something flashes through my mind.

"Please don't die!" i mumble out. I'm looking around frantically for a way out, holding what feels like a heavy body in my arms, like what it would feel like to hold a sleeping toddler while you try to put them to bed. I look down and barely see a mans face in the darkness. He looks peaceful, as if he's asleep, with his head laying on my lap. It's so dark in here, and I can barely breath! There's so much dust, and it's wet. It's too thick to be water though, what is this? I lift my hand to just barely see something shining on it.... 'IT'S BLOOD! Oh god!' My thoughts are running wild as I can't tell if it's mine or his. "SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs, it burns. It's so hot. This place is stifling, dark, small, the silence is deafening.

I'm thrown back to the real world as someone is shaking my shoulders firmly, trying to get my attention. I look up at the tired guy who was suppose to be doing my scan, his face full of concern as a nurse rushes in. "L/N! Can you hear us?!" His voice sounds like it's so far away, as if he's standing across a lake trying to yell at me on the other side, almost like an echoing effect. I can see him, I know I'm safe, I know that I'm in the hospital! But that doesn't stop my body from acting on its own. The shaking, the sobbing, my nails digging so deep into my arms drawing a small trickle of blood from each place my fingers touch as my body folds into itself on instinct. It's all unstoppable. My lungs scream at me, burning with intense pain, begging for the oxygen it so desperately needs. However my body refuses as I continue to silently sob, feeling dangerously close to passing out. There's darkness around my vision, as I continue my short, shaky breathing, like I can't figure out how to inhale regularly like I've done my whole life. Everyones voices sound so far away and slightly muffled, almost like I'm underwater, it feels like I'm drowning in my own tears that continuously stream down my face. "I'm sorry" and "Please make it stop" are the only words that escape my mouth on the off chance I suck in enough air to be able to form words. Then nothing. It's dark. Cold. Finally it's over, darkness has consumed me.