This chapter includes trauma about a crisis of faith. I know some people don't like it. So this is your only warning. Don't invalidate her trauma. You have no idea who's gone through the same thing a fictional character has.
VOTE PLS FOR MOMMY ELLA PLS
Belle's Pov
5 Months later - June
I kneel down beside his grave, tracing my thumb over the writing.
R.I.P
February 23rd
"Hi." I can already feel the tears start to form underneath my eye. Hold it in Belle. "We miss you up here. I hope you are enjoying life in the pits of hell, maybe you'd be in heaven but I think we both know you would throw a fit if they pushed you in there. David and Julia still talk about you like you're not gone... but, you are."
" Actually uhm, yesterday Ben said his first word, well, it wasn't really a word. But Lily's pregnant brain is telling her that some gibberish equals to mama. Tom doesn't quite have the heart to tell her just yet." I shed a tear knowing that Ben will forget him slowly.
"I'm sorry we couldn't save you, trust me. I tried, I tried so damn hard. I hope wherever you are is safe and peaceful, somewhere with many many video games and people to make fun of. I miss the taste of your home cooked meals that you would make for the five of us."
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"I wish you never left me, because no matter what bullshit I say to the rest of them, it still fucking hurts. I hide my stupid tears when someone mentions your name, although I smile and may seem fine, I'm not. I haven't been since you left."
"Sometimes, I still like to picture you here. Making fun of me and then squeezing my shoulder to show you don't actually mean it."
"You're still so alive in my heart, that sometimes my brain forgets that you've left the earth."
"You were my breath of fresh air, you big idiot and now... I can barely breathe." I laugh out of pure stupidity, because everything about this is stupid. All of it is so damn stupid. I'm alone.
Well... Not totally alone.
—————
5 months earlier
February 22nd
"Ms Robinson. You have to calm down and listen. It was a tiny, very small brain bleed. We would have never been able to catch it."
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It feels like someone just stabbed a knife in my chest, restricting my airways and not allowing me to breathe.
"But you said he was fine." I whisper as the nurse rubs my shoulder, just like he did.
"Belle..." Julia tries to stop me before I walk away, down the many halls, up the five flights of stupid ass fucking stairs. Pushing open the door to the roof and letting the gust of wind encapsulate my body.
The stars are bright, just like the last night. And I just break down. I scream and I cry like a stupid emotional girl. I feel like I'm fifteen years old again, having no one to lean on, being totally alone.
I wanted to scream so fucking loud until my throat collapsed. My brother is dead. Oliver Robinson is dead.
My breathing increases as I try to hold it in, but I want to shout. I want to cry and scream because I deserve better than this.
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I take a deep breath, looking up at the sky. "FUCK YOU GOD. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. I HATE WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND THE PEOPLE I LOVE. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR STUPID BELIEFS. OKAY?"
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𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐔𝐬
RomanceFAKE DATING "We are more than friends but less than lovers." - "Oh go to hell, I was trying to have an epiphany," I mutter as he pulls me onto the bed, leaving a light kiss on my shoulder. "If you're in the passenger seat, then I'll go anywhere swee...
