in the end ~ d. malfoy

Chapter Thirty-Six

"So . . . . you like someone?"

"Yes" Maya wrings her hands out in her lap, feeling the shame within her multiply by tenfold.

God, she's so stupid.

"And this person has shown that they care about you?"

"Yep, "

"But you're scared to tell them how you feel, " Jem presses on, scribbling something onto his notepad, "Why is that?"

"Because- " Maya starts off, the words catching in her throat, "Well . . . there's more than one reason, "

"Starting with?"

"Well . . . . . I don't think my friends would be happy with it, " She starts off, slowly, trying to make sense of the thoughts in her head, "They're in the house that rivals ours. My friends are also not on very good terms with this person because of things that they've done in the past. It would be social suicide to even admit that they're an acquaintance, "

"But would it make you happy if you got it off of your chest?, " he observes, as a sinking feeling comes over her.

"I guess . . . , " Maya starts, "But I don't even know if they like me back, even after everything that's happened. And besides, what would I gain after telling them? It's not like we have a chance together, anyway . . . "

"Could you explain to me why you think that?" He questions, now looking interested.

"Um . . " Maya starts, starting to feel herself clam up; She laughs, nervously "I shouldn't say . . . "

"You realize that this is a therapy session? I'm not interrogating you, Maya. You're free to leave at any time you wish, "

A weight lifts off of her chest as his words sink in, "Well, " Maya sighs, wondering if Jem really should be privy to such intimate details of her personal life (even if he is her therapist), "His family . . . let's just say that they hold very bigoted views against anyone who isn't pureblooded. Jem . . . his father is Lucius Malfoy, "

"Oh, " Jem says surprised; Then her words seem to sink in and his eyes widen in realization, "Oh. Well this is certainly a predicament, "

"Yeah, " she laughs, softly, looking out of the window; Cars rush by them on New York's upper east side, "Jem . . . I don't even know if I want to let him know about how I feel. We were on bad terms for the majority of last year and things have just gotten back to normal. Ruining what we already have seems like a bad idea. Besides, he's my best friend's brother. It'll be really weird for her if we suddenly start dating out of nowhere, "

"It seems to me that you're placing too much importance on external factors rather than your own happiness, " Jem observes, placing his palm in his chin in his palm, "Do you think that's fair?"

"I don't know, " Maya wonders, guilt leaching into her veins, "It sounds bad when you put it like that, "

"Do you remember what I told you when we had our last session? " he questions, sighing and sitting back in his chair, appearing to have reached a conclusion.

Maya sighs, realizing where she's gone wrong, " 'Accept the things I cannot control and pray for the courage to change the things I can, as well as the wisdom to know the difference'. But how does a quote from Bed, Bath & Beyond apply to wondering whether to ask out the guy I like?"

Something sparkles in Jem's eyes as he looks at her through his spectacles, "Can you control how other people react to your actions, Maya?"

"No?" she questions, confused.