When twins Callie and Lexi were kids, they wrote a list of all the boys they wished to kiss when they started high school. Flash forward a year later, Lexi packed her bags and moved with her father to Melbourne in the wake of their parents' umpteent...
Lexi was turning into an annoying fly on a summer's day—constantly hovering around, asking me if I needed help, offering to do my chores, opening doors for me, the like. She did it for the rest of that whole week, occasionally dropping in here and there, with her question that was underpinning her actions: what can I do to make this better?
There was one solution bitterly stirring in my mind, but rather than voicing it, I bit my tongue and continued to ignore Lexi and Sara as they walked around me in silent steps, scared I'd snap at any second if they were too forceful or loud.
They never touched in front of me.
In fact, both sat on either side of me in history.
And the same at lunch.
Almost like, even though their secret was out, they were scared to be happy with each other as though it would hurt me more.
To be fair, it did.
I didn't care that Lexi was gay.
I didn't care that they liked each other.
I did worry that accepting them as a couple could see strain on my relationship with either if they broke up.
But the biggest part holding me back from forgiving both of them was the fact they kept this giant, fat secret from me.
Every time the wave of guilt rolled over me as Sara and Lexi took hesitant steps away from each other in my presence, the bubbling rage as I remembered they hid this from me for two and a half months panged in my chest, taking away any forgiveness or remorse I had accumulated.
They should feel bad for lying.
Sara was supposed to be my best friend.
Lexi was supposed to be my sister who had just rekindled her relationship with me.
But neither trusted me enough with this information.
And worse... they thought I was too scary to confess to. And that really hurt.
Knowing the two people who were closest to me, who I thought would love me unconditionally, also thought I was scary... just as Flynn had said, just as all the others on the kiss list had said...
Well, it only further reminded me that I was someone people lie to.
Someone people don't have time for.
Someone people break up with because I'm just a silly little relationship... and when times get tough, they don't even think of me.
With the rage burning in my eyes as I watched Lexi and Sara approach me Friday afternoon at lunch time, an unbeknownst Ray Singh came from the other direction. Walking with his friends and paying me no attention, seeing Lexi and Sara visibly separate in my sight—though knowing they held hands when I wasn't around, further propagating that I was someone to hide their relationship from—I couldn't help but get to my feet as he neared.
Lexi's gaze locked on me, her brows furrowed as she watched me turn my attention towards the approaching boy.
Hand shooting out, I grabbed him by the arm.
Ray let out a little yelp as his head slowly craned in my direction, eyes going ridiculously wide as he took me in.
"Sorry, Ray, but I have to do this," I said, barely giving him any context before I yanked his body to mine.
He didn't resist. But he certainly was rigid.
Nonetheless, I forcefully pressed my mouth against his.
As I moved my lips over his, I heard him inhale a deep breath.
Please kiss back, please kiss back, please kiss back, I thought, holding my stance against him, grip tight behind his head to stop him from retreating if he tried.
And ever so slowly, I felt his lips pucker against mine.
It was the worst kiss in my life—and I had kissed a drunk Fraser. But he kissed me back like one might kiss a grandma.
And after feeling he certainly had reciprocated my kiss—and sure that it was long enough for Lexi to have seen—I pulled back from his face.
"I-I-I..." he stuttered, but I shook my head.
"Sorry, Ray. It was a dare... Hope I didn't upset you at all."
He took a big gulp and nodded his head. "Okay, it's."
Brows coming together, I said, "Cool?"
But as he continued to stand in front of me, unmoving, his friends' faces in a similar state of shock, I realised I had to say something more.
"You can... um... go now."
He gave me a slight nod but made no attempt to move.
"I'll see you in English, I guess?" I then tried, hoping he'd finally leave.
And with that, he seemed to have gotten the message. Or his senses came back and he was ready to do the typical Ray thing and flee the scene. Nonetheless, he pivoted on his spot, joined his friends in his trio once more, and they immediately darted out of sight.
With him finally gone, I took a deep breath, calmed my expression, and turned to face my sister.
Still with shock, her eyes searched my face, evidently wondering what that was about.
Nonetheless, I shot her my best challenging look before grabbing my bag and leaving the area.
I decided from that day on, I couldn't sit with Sara and Lexi anymore.
I couldn't associate with people who felt the need to lie to me.
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Callie right now...
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