Leave No Regrets

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Umeko awoke with a start. Nightmares again. Since that day she would have nightmares about the accident, to say it was every day was a stretch but most days she would find her nights fitful. It was a churning feeling of guilt that stewed within her small frame. Umeko remembered the woman's last words with startling clarity.

"Thank you"

"You shouldn't be thanking me; I couldn't save you." Umeko whimpered. Grief laced her words as she spoke to an empty room.

Whenever Umeko would let her mind drift for too long, she would see the expression that was on the woman's face before she died. It was a resigned smile that hid an unimaginable amount of fear and dread behind it.

Umeko knew her limits. She was aware she wasn't going to be able to save both the parent and the child; she just didn't have the physical capabilities for that, but sometimes she would find herself wondering what would have happened if she did. Would she be able to save them both? What if she had just noticed the car sooner? If she reached out just a little farther? What if she saved the parent instead of the child?

She quickly dismissed those thoughts once more then rubbed her eyes. They were red and swollen from crying despite taking a long nap. It wasn't a very refreshing nap, but it was better than uselessly crying all day. Umeko didn't cry in the hospital after her initial breakdown, she was too shocked to cry, but now that she was alone in her room she couldn't seem to stop.

Umeko turned towards her desk and grimaced at the mess she left behind. There were crumbled balls of paper scattered around the disordered pens. The pencils lay in disarray, abandoned from her earlier struggles, the only thing left untouched was the soap sculpture of the volleyball court and the watercolor pens.

Umeko sighed and got out of bed. "Perhaps I can fold with one hand..." She was desperately looking for things she could do with one hand, something in the art field that is. As long as it kept her mind off the accident.

- ----ONE HOUR LATER-----

It had taken a considerable amount of time before Umeko managed to enter the club room. She felt so helpless, even changing clothes was a struggle. She looked around the empty clubroom and walked to her cubby. It was late afternoon but there was still enough sunlight that she didn't need to turn on the lights. Umeko pulled out colorful origami paper with her left hand and set it on her desk. Before she started to fold, she looked out the window. During her stay in the hospital she had spent hours looking out the window. The world just seemed less colorful than how it used to look, the sky didn't seem as limitless, even the birds didn't sound as pretty.

Umeko sighed and took her seat at the table. She would be lying if she said she wasn't terrified about starting. What if she started and realized she couldn't even fold? Umeko wasn't even sure that she wanted to know if she could fold with one hand. Maybe I'll try it with two...

Umeko winced at the sharp pain then prickling sensation from her right hand as she tried to use it. It was a horrible feeling, not being able to control your own hand but it was even worse to not be able to feel two fingers. Between numbness and pain, she wasn't sure which one was the lesser of the two evils.

Despite the discomfort Umeko refused to stop her attempts at folding. Her eyes glossed over but no tears were shed. Just one crane. Please just one... Each uneven fold was a painstakingly long process that resulted in jolts of pain and crumpled paper.

"You're back." A deep voice muttered from the entrance then rushed over to the table. It was the fourth unofficial member of the club.

Umeko completely ignored the person's remark and continued her efforts in vain.

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