So Damn Beautiful (A Twilight Human Fan Fiction)

Chapter 31 - The Journal

I woke up during sunrise. I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was only 5:30 in the morning. I was rising from bed when something fell from my body and dropped to the floor. I looked at it to find a black book then it hit me. It was Bella's journal.

The entries I read last night flooded with my thoughts. I immediately picked up the book and read again. This is what was written...

Entry 67

I went to Edward's house today and his house is huge. I can't believe he calls it just a house. Royalties can actually live there. The interior is also as beautiful as the exterior. I met Edward's mom and she was really beautiful and kind and she even hugged me like she knew me for years, like I was no stranger to her. I finally officially met Alice Cullen. She was really pretty and cute and nice.

Edward and I proceeded to our report. When we think we had done enough, we just decided to talk. We continued his story. Then, when we were through with his, I told him mine. Edward was so kind and very encouraging. When I told him that the student body nominated me as Queen Bee just to break the votes, he told me that that wasn't true. He made me feel like I was really beautiful. Then when I told him about my problem with Leah, he told me that Leah was only jealous of me. He really made me feel like... I was really special. I never felt like that before. It's like he understands me before I could even tell him my problem. Am I really that special to him?

Entry 68

Oh, what a day! This was the second and last day Edward and I did our report. Edward actually asked me about my status with Jacob. Well actually, I honestly don't want to dwell on that. I was really uncertain with my feelings for Jacob. I can't tell if I love him as a lover, a friend or a brother. I just knew that I love him. Then when Edward came, I even got confused. I like Edward. I really like him but... when I asked him for an advice to ease out my confusion, he told me a very beautiful and meaningful advice. It sounded like he was in love.

He is in love! But with whom? Right that moment, I felt a prick within my heart. He's already in love with someone else. Someone that isn't me. I feel envious towards this girl that Edward loves. She is one lucky girl. At least, I know now that hoping for a chance with Edward is something next to impossible. Before I left his house, I hugged him and give him a peck on his cheek and I said goodbye. That goodbye kiss isn't just for me leaving him to go home but it was also a goodbye for my feelings for him. Maybe I should make it official with Jacob later when we meet...

Entry 69

I told Edward that Jacob and I are together now. He looked shocked. Well, who wouldn't? Even Charlie was shocked about it... but Jacob was Billy's son so he was cool with it. If only Edward liked me like the way Jacob does, I would have chosen him but who am I kidding? Edward will not like me in that way. When I hugged him, I felt like he was hugging me like he would hug a friend. I'm just a friend...

Entry 71

I asked Edward to be my duet partner in the opening number for the Autumn Concert. Actually, I really don't need a duet partner. I just want to sing with Edward again. I just want a reason so I could hang out with him. And guess what? Edward and I are best friends now. I know it's not what I exactly wanted but it was close enough. At least I could spend time with him.

Entry 75

Oh, my God... I feel so tired. This is really one hell of a day. Today was Edward's basketball competition. And of course, I came to watch. I was already out of the house and going towards my car when Jacob showed up with his dad's new truck. When Jacob found out that I was going to watch the game, he suddenly got mad. He said that I never attended any ball game competition before so why do I need to watch. I told him because I wanted to see Edward play. Then he shouted at me saying... he doesn't want me to go. I got mad. I asked him why he didn't want me to go. He told me that I just can't. I told him that I wanted to support Edward. He really was mad and didn't want me to go.