The Price of Forgetting

Chapter 17

I didn't enjoy the play nearly as much as I should have. It was fun, but my mind kept wandering to Matthew and his reaction to learning about Edward and the others.

It was ridiculous for either one of us to be upset. Matthew should be glad that I'd made friends and was having fun, and I shouldn't be nearly as concerned with what he thought about my activities. Irrational as it was, I kept wishing it was more than simple protectiveness that made him react that way. But obviously that was stupid. He was my cousin. There couldn't be any more between us than friendship. I just hated feeling this way. It was wrong, and any time I had to remind myself of that, I was angry at him all over again for not telling me we were related sooner.

"Is everything alright?"

Edward's voice startled me. I shook off my thoughts and turned to him on the carriage seat beside me. After the play, he brought me to the park to drive along the path where so many other people were taking advantage of the beautiful weather and scenery.

"Fine." I forced a smile. "Why?"

"You just seem...preoccupied. I hope I haven't done anything to offend you."

"Of course not!" I said, mildly horrified that he thought I was upset with him. He'd been nothing but kind and attentive. "I just had a disagreement with a friend earlier. I guess I'm having a hard time putting it out of my mind."

Edward watched me for a moment, seeming undecided about something. I hoped it wasn't whether to believe me or not.

"I've had a wonderful time with you today. I'm sorry I've been a little rude, allowing my mind to wander like that."

He waved the apology off. "This friend," he said cautiously, looking between me and the road ahead of us. "Do you mean Miss Graham?"

I was a little confused about why it should matter. "No, not Lily. A different friend." Although, come to think of it, I wasn't thrilled with Lily either.

For a moment, he quietly stared ahead as he steered the horses and then said, "a male friend?"

Maybe it shouldn't have, but the question surprised me. Was he wondering if he should be jealous? I liked Edward enough, but I thought we were just having fun. Or at least, that's what I kept telling myself. I didn't feel ready for much more than that.

"Yes, but he's my cousin." I hope I didn't sound as despondent as I felt about that.

Edward met my eyes, seeming relieved. "Good. I was afraid someone else might be courting you."

It felt strange to suddenly be having this discussion. I awkwardly shook my head and glanced down.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know it's not technically proper to discuss this with you since I haven't talked to your father yet, but I'm not actually sure who your father is. I've made some inquiries, but they haven't been successful. It seems your family is well hidden," he joked.

I gave him a small forced smile, realizing I was going to have to be honest with him. I'd never elaborated about my situation or my family. It just didn't seem that important if we were simply enjoying each other's company. But now it felt like I'd lied. He assumed my family was like Lily's. He thought we were wealthy and titled and part of Society. None of those things should make any difference, but they mattered here. Particularly when people started talking about courting.

"I planned to make an appointment with General Graham this week."

"You did?" I blinked, remembering what Lily said.

He nodded. "He can be fairly intimidating, but if you've been entrusted into his care, he may be able to grant his approval. At the very least, he'd be able to contact your father."