The Price of Forgetting

Chapter 30

The exam was humiliating, but otherwise it wasn't so bad. I buried my face against Cecily until Doctor Collins had finished.

"Well, Ella, it appears that you have a fairly severe infection." He sounded as soothing as ever, but I could tell he had to try a little harder this time.

I peeked at him, not sure what to say.

"You mean, she's not...?" Cecily said.

"No," he said. "Other than that infection, Ella's perfectly fine." He focused on me. "You probably won't feel so good for about a week, but we caught it early enough that it should be easy to treat. And the medication should take care of the worst symptoms."

I could only nod a little in acknowledgement.

He dug in his bag for a moment before pulling out a small bottle and handing it to me. "Take two of those a day. Just be aware that they might make you a little sleepy."

Again I nodded.

"I'll have some water sent up so you can get started on the medicine. In the meantime, are you feeling up to any visitors? I know everyone is worried about you."

Sweet as I know it was that everyone was concerned, I didn't think I could handle so many people right now. I just looked at the doctor, alarmed, not wanting to refuse outright.

"Maybe just Matthew for now," Cecily suggested. "If you're feeling well enough?"

That sounded much better and I nodded again.

Doctor Collins gave me a sympathetic smile. "Get plenty of rest," he said. "I'll see how you're doing in the morning."

I wanted to smile or thank him or something, but I couldn't seem to make myself do anything but watch him go.

A second after Doctor Collins closed the door, Matthew came through it. Looking half-crazed, he hurried over and stopped at the side of the bed.

Cecily gave me a little squeeze and kissed the top of my head before standing up to yield her spot to Matthew who wasted no time taking it.

"Feel better, Ella," she said and then left us alone.

Matthew held me the way Cecily had and I clung to him. It was comforting, but I also felt a little strange. It felt as though there was this huge thing between us because he hadn't told me everything. I understood why, but it was still there.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded. "I have an infection."

"That's all?" His relief was obvious.

"Yes."

He momentarily tightened his grip on me in a hug and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You lied to me, Matthew."

He stilled. "I know. But I couldn't... I didn't want you to have to carry that burden if there was any chance you didn't have to."

"I know."

"Are you angry?"

I nodded.

"With me?"

I had to think for a second. "I'm not sure."

"I'm sorry," he said, resting his head on mine. "I don't know if there's any way we could have made this easier on you."

"Is there anything else?" I asked. "Anything else I should know?"

I don't know how I would have survived if he said there was, I just couldn't stand being ignorant about myself any longer.

"No," he said. "There's nothing else."