The Price of Forgetting

Chapter 26

"Are the preparations for a ball always so involved?" I wondered as one girl styled my hair and another worked on a small alteration on my dress. It was one of Lily's, of course, and it was much more extravagant than the others I'd borrowed. I wore fancy jewelry and shoes, and Lily had insisted on having special lotions and oils used on my face and hands. And makeup of course. I didn't feel anything like myself.

"Oh, this is nothing," Lily said as another girl deliberately pinned her dark hair in place. "Sometimes it can take a few hours to get everything done, but this isn't an actual ball. It's a slightly formal luncheon with dancing. It won't be nearly as elaborate and pretentious and as a ball, so getting ready isn't quite so bad."

"Do you prefer the ruby clips, Miss?" The girl asked Lily.

"Yes, that will be perfect, Amy," she said and then glanced at me in the mirror. I'm not sure what expression she found on my face, but she frowned a little. "Are you sure you're up for this? You know you don't have to go if you don't want to."

I knew my exasperation was obvious when she smirked.

"Alright alright. I don't want to keep bothering you, but these things can be a lot to take, and you've been kind of..." She kindly didn't finish.

I sighed. "I know, but I want to go."

I'd been doing better over the past week. Like I promised myself, I wasn't going to allow my past to steal more of my life from me, so I was forcing myself to do normal things. Granted, a fancy luncheon at the castle wasn't exactly normal for me, but it was something I'd have been excited about before. On some level, I still was. I was curious to see the castle for myself and to learn what it would be like to attend an event there, but part of me just wanted to be curled up on my bed, shutting the world out.

I wasn't sure if Lily completely believed me, but she didn't argue. "At least you'll be able to stick with Matthew. He only ever goes to these things to support one of us."

That was, in fact, a very reassuring thought.

It wasn't long before Lily and I were ready. Matthew had arrived a while before, so we were able to leave right away for the castle. Even though I largely had to force myself into this, I felt genuinely excited as we neared our destination. I found myself smiling out the window as the imposing structure grew larger and more impressive as we approached it. Beside me, Matthew chuckled, but I was too engrossed to acknowledge him.

Once inside, it seemed even more remarkable. Everything was so big and open, and insanely ornate. Even the furniture seemed priceless, and I didn't doubt that the gold I saw threaded into the tapestries and rugs, was actual gold. I'd had a hard time believing that anything could be more lavish than the Graham's home, but it truly was. But, like Mama said, it was also cold. She'd been referring to the way people behaved, and I didn't doubt she was right, but the building itself was impersonal. It was impressive, to be sure, but it didn't seem like the sort of place anyone would want to call home. It would be like living in a museum. I felt a pang of sympathy for Evie. She'd grown up in this magnificent, unfeeling place.

When we reached the Ballroom, I was overwhelmed again by the grandeur of everything. The room itself was clearly meant to be one of the most magnificent places in the castle to impress visitors, but the people filling the room added to the charm and brilliance with their beautiful and expensive attire. The decorations were incredible and soothing music was just loud enough to be heard over the noise of conversation. I had a hard time imagining a more splendid occasion. What must a real ball be like?

Unaffected by it all, Matthew pulled me along. There were so many people everywhere, and few I recognized. But of course, Lily couldn't get very far without someone stopping her to say hello. I gathered that our destination was one of the large tables set up on the far side of the room, but since Matthew and I kept stopping with Lily along the way, it seemed we might never get there.