Marry Me, Mary

Kabanata IX - Ang Weird!

"Marry Me, Mary" book 2 of "My Mary Christmas"  

"You're...y-you're..." Garalgal na ang aking boses dahil sa pag-iyak, lumunok ako at pilit na binigkas ang mga salitang ayokong sambitin "...y-you're breaking up with me?"

"Silly," he said and smiles forlornly. Disappointment is palpable in his eyes.

"Just say it, Zac. I know you're breaking up with me. I feel it." Tinakpan ko na ang mukha ko. Ayoko. Ayokong makita ang mukha niya, ang pagbuka ng bibig niya 'pag binatawan na niya ang break-up speech -

"I'm disappointed." I heard him breathe heavily. I gaze daggers at him and his expression fell more. "I can't believe that you don't trust me enough. Do you think na makikipaghiwalay ako sa'yo? That's never going to happen, Mary. Never. You know that I love you." He again breaks the space between us and caresses my face sadly and it's contagious. "We will walk down in that church's aisle and will exchange I do's. You'll wear your long white gown that fits you perfectly," he whispers in determination but with sorrow in his voice "I always imagine you in a white dress, wearing the special loving smile you reserve for me. Every single day," he stresses. "That's the final decision I'm talking about to marry you here. To still marry you whatever happens. But how I can I do that if you're convincing yourself that I'm giving up?" Then, I saw the tears threaten to fall down from his eyes but he abruptly blinks them away. "I wouldn't that. Never." I have the sudden urge to soothe and said I'm sorry to him but I can't.

We are screwed up. Totally screwed up. She's the reason behind this. We are ruined because of her.

"It is her that I don't trust," I murmured lowly.

"It goes both ways." Before I can utter any single word for expostulation I found him walk away and enter his car and banged the door shut.

"Now, what have I done?" Siya ang may issue 'diba? Siya ang nakagawa ng kasalanan. Bakit ngayon ay ako naman ang nagu-guilty?

Trust? I almost forget that word. Why in the first place ay hindi ko naisapuso at naisabuhay ang salitang 'yon? Ganito na ba talaga kakitid ang utak ko when it comes to Zac? Mas lalo kong nakuha ang point ni Adan. Masiyado nga akong naging makasarili sa mga ipinakita ko these last few days. But still, Zac should now make the first move.

Naging disloyal siya sa'kin o kung hindi naman, bakit hindi niya magawang magpaliwanag? Bakit nananatiling tikom ang bibig niya sa usapang 'yon. Oo, sinasabi niyang MALI ang nakita ko, na HINDI ganoon 'yon. Pero doon lang ba magtatapos 'yon? Wala ng justification? Forgiven na siya agad? Syempre naman hindi!

I want to kill the bitch because of that. I wish she never came. And I am so fed up believing and chasing after Zac. I am making myself fool out of the man I love.

I walk slowly towards my car, ruefulness covering me up because of our 'trust issues'. Before I stir the engines alive my phone beeps indicating I've received a message.

My heart automatically flutters. It's him.

"Oh Zac," I murmured breathlessly trying to calm the butterflies battling in my stomach.

"I am going to marry you soon, Mary. Mark my words," he texted.

❥❥❥❥❥

I feel like a zombie. It's been two weeks passed since the incident. Hindi ko na siya nakakausap. Pero nakikita ko pa rin siya. Madalas ko siyang nakikita everytime na nagla-lunch akong mag-isa. Ayoko ng may kasama, gusto ko lang mapag-isa. Pero itong si Zac, laging nagpapakita. Para siyang multo, pero buhay. Ang gulo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa isip niya. Gusto ko siyang kausapin, pero kailangan ko siyang tiisin.