Chapter SIXTY

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Lucky O'Cléirigh

… a couple weeks later…

I anxiously pace the foot of the bed as a swarm of medics huddle around my unmoving fiance.. Konstantin had lost consciousness on the beach, he'd died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and had been resuscitated, only to die twice more on the operating table as the surgeons removed the 9 mil round that had pierced his chest just two inches from his heart.. The damage to his internals had been so severe he'd been placed in the ICU on life support and there hasn't been a single thing I could do except pray..

If there is a God, I refuse to believe he would take anything more from me.. He won't make me suffer through this loss.. My heart can't bear it.. I won't survive without Konstantin.. What's more, even if I could find a way to live without him, I wouldn't want to..

His death would be the end of me..

"We're doing absolutely everything we can for him, Lucky, but you need to be prepared for all outcomes.." Darkport's leading cardiothoracic surgeon and my doll-faced sister in law, Doctor Lacey Greyson, flicks through the paperwork fixed to her clipboard with a furrowed brow.. In her steely grey eyes I can see the determination that drives her, but there is a caution to her tone that breaks my heart.. "His latest scans suggest signs of recovery but we won't know anything for certain until we confirm his biopsy results and bring him out of sedation to perform some cognitive tests.."

The longer he sleeps under a medically induced coma, the less certain everything becomes.. If and when he ever does wake up.. Would he even recognise me?

Lacey had warned me of all the possible complications that could affect his brain for having lost oxygen flow several times and how the likelihood of some sort of damage increased with each death he suffered..

I know that it's a miracle he survived at all but the way that Lacey looks at me now, with a practiced sympathy and careful encouragement, it is almost as if she is sure something is wrong and she is trying to prepare me for it..

But I could never be ready to face a worst case scenario and knowing of the possibility of one does nothing to reduce my torment..

What is even worse, they found some kind of shading on his lung in their latest scans which I've been informed may be malignant.. So even if he does wake up, the possibility that he might be sick is almost enough to break me entirely..

I have been trying so hard to keep everything together when all I want is to break down and fall apart..

"How long until you can wake him up?" I glance over to where Konstantin lays, so still he could be a beautiful marble statue carved by God himself were it not for the attached monitors.. Gor now he is kept alive by tubes and wires.

The unfairness of it all makes me furious, but I manage that anger by fixating on what Konstantin would tell me if he were awake..

'Life isn't fair', he would say, 'accept what is for what it is.'

"Well, that's what I'd like to talk to you about.. Since you have power of attorney, it's up to you how we proceed.. I'd like to test for a cognitive response as soon as possible, but there are always risks associated with these types of delicate matters.. So we'd need you to sign off on any further treatment.."

I rub my tired eyes, exhausted and running on fumes.. I've had not enough sleep and too much cafeteria coffee..

Why did he give me his power of attorney?

I don't feel equipped to deal with any of this.. I honestly don't know what the right decision is anymore.. "What are the risks?"

Lacey sighs.. "It's difficult to say.. Mr Ivanov is stable now but he remains a high risk candidate for hypotension and pericardial tamponade, which is why we are carefully monitoring him for another cardiovascular collapse… His pulmonary lacerations were severe but he seems to be recovering well.. He suffered extensive damage to the intercostal nerves so there could be any number of complications ranging from treatable to fatal, I'm afraid we just won't know until we bring him out of sedation.. The good news is his intubation was successful and his oxygen levels have regulated which gives me cause to believe he would be able to breathe successfully unaided by the equipment.."

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