Disarray [H.S.]

Chapter Ten

I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine
Hold on to me pretty baby and you'll see
I can be all you need

———

Just as I expected, I walked down the driveway to see Harry leaning up against his running car with arms crossed over his chest, left ankle crossed over the right. His messy curls sitting perfectly on the top of his head, black sunglasses perched on his nose And he's got his usual smile engraved on his cherry lips, allowing me to see his deep dimples on either side of his cheek. The left being more prominent than the right.

I meet his emerald eyes, and my tense shoulders relax. I return the bright smile given to me and as I get closer to his car force myself to look back down at my shoes, hoping that my staring wasn't so blatantly obvious.

The comfort that washed over me as soon as I saw him was almost discomforting. I was not used to this feeling at all. It was strange. I think it was a good strange, but still very strange. I'm still frustrated and very confused, though, because I was just telling myself to stay away. But one look at Harry and I'm already ready to change my mind.

I approached the car and Harry opened the passenger seat door for me while saying, "Hi."

When he spoke, it almost sounded like he sighed out a breath of relief, never once losing that smile of his. I nodded my head and bit the inside of my cheek so I didn't look so eager and desperate, but when I said hi back, and Harry's eyes creased from his widened smile, my smile widened too.

I climbed into his car and he shut the door and walked around the front to get in on his side. The music, like always, was playing already and I recognized the song immediately.

"This is my favorite song by them," I tell Harry as he shuts his door, fastens his seatbelt and begins to drive away. Harry raises his eyebrows and pulls the corner of his lips down, his facial expression looking like he's saying 'no kidding'.

"You have got fantastic taste," he tells me and turns the volume up. "It's one of my favorites too."

I start to hum along to The Void by The Neighborhood and lean myself back against the headrest while closing my eyes, tilting my head from side to side to the beat of the song and just enjoy the music.

The drive to Ellie's is mellow, calm. Harry and I sat in a comfortable silence for the short ten minute drive. But, when we arrived at the smoothie shop, something in me clicked, and the reality of the situation set back in.

It's like pulling up to the shop triggered something in my brain and I remembered what we were here for. And the possibility of him telling me he never wants to see me again is the only thought in my head.

This was a stupid idea. It's only going to send me spiraling deeper. I never should have agreed to this.

Harry found a parking spot and drove into it, turning off his car's engine. I couldn't bring myself to actually look at him right now, so I focused my attention on the front door of the smoothie shop, I was starting to feel myself loosing touch with reality. Blocking out the negative feelings by shutting down.

I can feel myself shutting down and I'm not sure I want to stop it.

He looked over to me as he undid his seatbelt, and noticed the shift in my energy. He stopped fiddling with the seatbelt and gave me his undivided attention.

"Hey, are you alright?" He questions me.

I start fidgeting with my bracelet just like I always do when I get this way, and I chewed the inside of my cheek and furrowed my eyebrows, creating a crease in the skin between them.