Disarray [H.S.]

Chapter Twenty

It will take a while
To make you smile
Somewhere in these eyes
I'm on your side
You wide-eyed girls
You get it right

————

No Perspective

For the first time in Harry's life, he couldn't put into words what he was feeling.

All the words in his head that he could have used to describe these feelings with, suddenly didn't hold half as much meaning anymore.

Elated, ecstatic, overjoyed, exhilarated. The list goes on, but all of these words seemed too small for his big feelings; they didn't seem to truly grasp how he felt.

He wasn't expecting Macey to take him out on a date, let alone be the one to kiss him first. He had a whole plan of his own. He was going to wait a bit longer, since he knew Macey was hesitant. He knew she had been through a lot, to what extent he wasn't sure, but he knew she was struggling with plenty of different things.

But he also knew she was starting to develop feelings for him. He could see it, feel it. Harry knew that Macey probably wasn't sure what it was she was feeling. He knew she'd be scared, confused, and overthinking, god does she overthink. But that's okay.

Harry understood that Macey could be complicated. He understood that it would take time for her to let him in, and he was okay with that.

He would wait a thousand lifetimes if it meant that in the end she'd let him in.

Even if she never let him fully in, Harry would still cherish every second she gave to him, every second he got to spend with her, every little detail she'd let him learn, all of it.

He was patient, he was composed, he was waiting, waiting until the moment he knew she'd accept a kiss from him, it didn't matter how far into the future that moment may have been.

He had almost done it a few times, like that time in the park where all he could do was stare at her lips while she laid in the grass with her eyes closed, or the time he walked her to her front door. He was leaning in, he was really going to go for it, but the glimpse of Louis in the window stopped him.

He wanted to talk to Louis, ask him about Macey, but he decided against it, figuring it was best for him not to ask other people about her and better to just hear things from the source. Even if the indirect source, like Louis or even Dani, was just as insightful. Harry didn't really know Dani, he didn't really know Louis either, but he knew Macey cared about them, even if she struggled to admit it.

Harry was well aware that they were the only people Macey let into her life, and even with them she still felt undeserving, like she was using them and was selfish for allowing them to be there for her. Harry wished she could understand that she had never once been selfish, and had never once used them, but thoughts like that take time to unlearn. And Harry wanted to be there by her side to help her out in any way he could.

Macey and Harry spent a good bit of time in the exhibit hall once they finally left the planetarium. Although, neither could really pay much attention to what they were looking at anyways, they were too focused on each other's touch. The way their skin heated up when their fingers intertwined, the way their belly's jumped when they looked into each other's eyes, the way they both couldn't keep smiles off their lips.

Harry dropped Macey off later that day, walking her to her front door and watching her go inside, but not before kissing her one more time before allowing her to leave.

Harry stood on the sidewalk in front of Macey's home for a few moments, just taking the whole day in, reminiscing the way her lips felt against his. And little did he know, Macey was standing at the bottom of the staircase, just staring, thinking about the exact same thing.