ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕠 ℝ𝕒𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒

𝔸 𝕔𝕒𝕥?! (𝕡𝕥.5)

My team and I were all heading to the Hokage's tower, as of right, having just finished yet another useless mission. And by useless... I mean useless. We had to rescue a cat. A fucking cat! Like, are you serious? I didn't become a ninja to rescue cats. But, anyway, when we reached the mission's office, I didn't even bother knocking on the door and walked in.

"Ah, Raiden. I thought it'd be you," The old man said.

Tilting my head in confusion as I avoided a slap from my sister, I asked, "how?"

"Because you never seem to know how to knock before you enter the room," the old man explained, puffing on his pipe.

"Yet you never seem to know how to stop smoking that cancer inducer. Aren't Hokage's supposed to be wise?" This time, as I dodged my sister's slap, I fell right into the hands of my sensei's slap and I glared at him whilst rubbing the spot he just hit.

"Why?" I asked plainly, a glare in my narrowed eyes.

"Because."

I sighed and was about to talk again but was interrupted by an old fat lady snatching the black cat and squishing it to death. I blinked a few times before facing the old man with a questioning look and a nod to the old woman.

He only shrugged, sighed and took the money the lady handed him before she went running out of the room, the cat still clinging to life... And air. Anyway, I zoned out when the blonde Uzumaki started arguing with the old man. It was a headache I didn't need. But as I heard the word "ramen" I tuned back in just in time to hear a rather important question.

"So, I had the Miso Ramen yesterday so I was thinking that I have the pork-belly one today. What'd you think?"

"Pork belly sounds good to me," I shrugged.

"Pay attention!"

"Old man, if I may?" I asked, cutting the blonde off from his internal questioning and despite looking rather annoyed,  Hiruzen nodded and allowed me to continue. "The kid has a point. I mean, how the actual flying fuck am I going to use the skills from gardening to kill an S-rank criminal on a mission? We won't get any experience if we don't actually go on a real mission."

The man seemed thoughtful for a moment as Iruka gaped at me and sighed. "So, Naruto wants to prove he's not a brat anymore, and Raiden's bored-"

"I'm not." I cut him off.

"You are. Honestly, you're just as bad as Kakashi."

"Me/him?" Kakashi and I asked at the same time, turning to face each other.

"I will give you your first C-rank mission." Our question went unanswered. "It will be a simple escort mission to the land of waves," Hiruzen stated. "Bring him in." The old man ordered one of the hidden ANBU and only a few moments later, the overwhelming stench of Sake filled my nose. It was honestly revolting and the fact that I could smell it and no one else could, scared me a little.

But my face must have turned green or something because Kakashi was giving me a questioning look.

And I was about to explain but someone beat me to it.

"What?! A bunch of snot-nosed brats?" An old man slurred -aka the source of stench- before taking a swig of the sake that was in the bottle he was holding. "How are these kids going to protect me? I asked for ninjas." He paused. "And what's with the short guy with the stupid look on his face? And you, why do you have white hair? You're like twelve."

I sighed.

"Hahaha. Who's the short guy with the stupid look on his face?" Blondie laughed.

My team got into a line going from tallest to shortest. Being Kakashi, me, Ducky, Sakura then the idiotic blob of yellow and orange.