Rick, Ethan, and Morty

Ricksy Business

The scene plays outside of the Smith family's house. Jerry is seen packing stuff into the back of a car that is parked in front of the garage, while Beth is standing by the passenger seat side of the car. Rick, Ethan, Gamora, Summer, and Morty are standing by the garage door.

Summer:
Bye, mom! Bye, dad!

Morty:
Drive carefully!

Rick:
Have fun, you two.

Ethan:
Yes have fun, mom.

Gamora:
We'll see you when you get back.

Beth:
Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our... (Sarcastic and moody) Titanic-themed getaway.

Jerry:
(Finishes packing the car, and closes the door of the car.) Let's lose the 'tude, please. It's supposed to be romantic. (Opens the passenger seat door.)

Beth:
Speaking of disasters, Ethan, we are leaving you in charge, here.

Summer:
What, are you serious?

Morty:
Come on.

Jerry:
Why him?

Beth:
Because he's more responsible.

Jerry:
You're kidding me, right? He's not responsible, he's one bed tumble away from making us grandparents.

Beth:
So, they will make beautiful babies, and we are going to love them, and accept them, or I'm not going.

Jerry:
Okay, I'll back off, jeez.

Rick:
C-can we wrap this up? Morty, Ethan, and I (belching) have some synthetic laser-eels oxidizing in the garage.

Beth:
(Angry) Hey, don't blow me off. I am drawing a line, okay? Any damage to this house or these children when we get back, and... no more adventures with Morty. (Opens the car door off screen.)

Jerry:
What about Ethan?

Beth:
I can't really control what he does.

Jerry:
Yes you can, we're the parents, and he's the minor.

Beth:
Okay, let me rephrase. I don't want to, because I don't want to push my baby away from us again, and if you don't drop it, you will not survive this trip.

She said in an angry tone.

Jerry:
Yes, dear.

Morty:
Aw, geez, Rick! If my mom's the one who's saying it, then you know it's pretty serious this time.

Beth and Jerry in unison:
That's right.

Jerry:
Wait... What?

Rick:
Listen, you have my word, everything's gonna be fine. And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. It's like that old song "blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop". You guys know that song? (Elbows Morty.) From Tiny Roger's? You never heard of it? You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s?

(Everyone is silent)

Rick:
No-nobody? (Angry) A-all right, whatever. Look, who cares? Just go on your stupid trip.

Jerry:
(Serious) Not one thing out of place.

Ethan(Offscreen):
You're not intimidating dad. So stop embarrassing yourself.

Jerry:
I can be intimidating!

Rick:
No y-you're (belches) not.

Beth and Jerry enter the car and drive out of the garage driveway. Jerry then stops the car, and opens the car door.