Rick, Ethan, and Morty

S2. Total Rickall

Smith family is eating, Jerry checks his mail.

Jerry:
Steve, I just got a weird e-mail. Did you buy us airline tickets?

Uncle Steve:
Aw shoot, it was supposed to be a surprise! I wanted to thank you for letting me live here all this time, so I'm treating the family to a vacation!

Beth:
Steve, you're so sweet!

Morty:
Thanks Uncle Steve!

Summer:
Best uncle ever!

Uncle Steve:
Look out world, the Smith family is goin' to Paris!

Summer:
(offscreen) Yeah! Awesome!

Rick enters the room, and dumps some very familiar-looking rocks into the kitchen trash.

Jerry:
Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the kitchen trash.

Rick:
Well, I don't like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren, Jerry. Which was why I altered Ethan's DNA. Speaking of which where is he?

Beth:
Oh, he's still at the Hospital. Those babies are so cute. I wish I took a picture of them.

Uncle Steve:
Don't worry Beth, we'll all go down there this afternoon and pay them a visit. What do y'all say?

Morty:
I can't believe I'm an Uncle.

Summer:
And I'm an Aunt. I'm gonna teach Nikki, and Tali all about fashion.

Beth:
Yeah, uh, sweetie. Ethan says no emphatically.

She huffs in disappointment.

Jerry:
And you know what, Rick, I-

Uncle Steve:
You're gonna land on your feet Jer. Some company out there's gonna thank they're lucky stars they hired my little brother.

Rick:
Who the fuck are you?

Jerry:
My goofy brother Steve. He's been living here almost a year now, are you losing your mind?

Uncle Steve:
Hey someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks am I right?

Everybody except Rick laughs, Rick shoots Steve in the head. The family screams.

Morty:
What the hell, Rick? What the hell?

Rick:
Everybody just relax for a second. There's no such thing as an "Uncle Steve." That is an alien parasite.

Uncle Steve's body turns into a blue and purple worm-like creature, spewing pink liquid all over the table.

Jerry:
But I've known him my whole life!

Rick:
No, you haven't Jerry. These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories they use those to multiply, spread out, and take over planets. It's disgusting.

Morty:
Steve wasn't real?

Rick:
He's a real piece of shit! This is a big one, someone probably tracked in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit.

Summer:
Someone?

Rick:
Get off the high road, Summer. We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet.

Morty:
But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike.

Rick:
No, "Steve" put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply. We could be infested with these things, so we gotta keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up.