Half a Heart

14. Me Too (P)

Peter's POV

I was lying in my bed doing homework when I got Taylen's call. I answered as soon as I saw it. I wasn't expecting her to call me. It definitely caught me off-guard.

"Hello?" I answered hesitantly.

"Are you busy?" her response was rushed.

I really needed to get my homework done, but I would drop anything for her.

"No."

"Can you meet me at our spot?"

That's when I realized something was wrong. She had never called it our spot, but I knew exactly where she wanted to meet.

"Be there in fifteen."

I was shocked that she wanted to meet up at all. Nevertheless, I immediately put on a shirt and my socks and shoes. I went downstairs. Mom and Dad were watching movies on the couch.

"Taylen wants me to meet me at the lake spot," I told them.

Dad gave me a look that I'm pretty sure meant that he was not about to let me go. Mom nodded before he could get the words out. They communicated with each other with a few looks, but I didn't give them time to change their minds.

I drove the speed limit, despite my want to go faster. The throbbing in my rear reminded me not to be reckless. When I got there Tay wasn't there yet. I parked and got out. I knew she would probably want to sit on the tailgates but I had a different idea. My ass was so sore that I didn't know if I could do that. I had barely been able to withstand the desks today. It definitely took sitting on my jacket and a whole lot of sitting on my knees.

I grabbed the blanket that Taylen had made me keep in my truck. I stretched it out along the sand. There wasn't too much light, but we had the moon and the one street light. I laid down on my stomach and waited on that pretty girl to get there.

She pulled up not that much later. I watched as she climbed out and went to my truck. She realized I wasn't in it. Tay peered around a second before spotting me. She walked over, the slight breeze blowing through her hair. She walked over and sat down. I noticed that she winced when her bottom hit the sand. I gave her a confused look.

"Long story," she mumbled.

She flipped over onto her stomach like I was. Tay scooted towards me until our sides were touching. Trying not to get too excited, I threw my arm over her and pulled her even closer. She snuggled into me. I felt her shoulders begin to shake. She was crying.

I did what I could and just held her. I had no idea what was wrong and it was killing me. I'm sure it had something to do with me. I hated that I couldn't take what I did back. I never should have gotten drunk.

"Shh, let it all out," I coaxed, "It's ok, baby."

Tay continued to cry for a few more minutes. I held her until she pulled away. I didn't want to let go, but I did. She flipped over to her side facing me. I did the same so we were facing each other. I got the feeling that she wanted to talk.

"Peter, I need someone to talk to, and you're about the only someone I have," she started.

I just nodded.

"If you only knew what has been going on in my head the past few weeks," she shuddered and closed her eyes.

"Peter, I don't know what to do with it all. I have never felt so awful in my life. Even when Isiah died, I don't remember feeling at all. I basically shut down. They had to put me in the hospital."

I don't think she has ever talked about her stay. I overheard Carter talking about it once, but I don't think Tay has ever talked about it.

"So much shit is happening and I feel like I can't keep up. Carter and Julie are pregnant and engaged, Dad and Eden are engaged, you and I aren't together anymore, and Isaiah's death anniversary is in a few days. Petey, I'm really struggling," silent tears were making their tracks down her face.

Tears pricked my eyes. I hated it for her. I wished that I could take it on for her.

"I'm tired of always feeling unwanted," she started crying again, "I'm tired of feeling unapproachable. I'm tired of being so weak."

"Taylen Elouise, I never want to hear you call yourself weak again. You are the strongest person I know. The hell that you have gone through in the fifteen years you have been alive is more than some people go through in their entire lives. You have survived not really having a mom, you survived your brother's death, you have survived someone you considered your friend being the other girl, you survived Carter's relentless asshole attitude, and you will survive everything that you've got going on right now. I know that you are overwhelmed and that it's a lot, but the Taylen I know would not let it break her. The Taylen I know would start planning her brother's baby shower. She would tell her Dad how happy she is that he found someone to settle down with. The Taylen I know would look in the mirror and say 'No one can make me feel inferior without consent'. She would realize that she needs to get a new perspective. That girl is not weak," I said all this sternly.

I wanted her to remember who she was. This might have knocked her out of balance, but she should not be thinking that she is anything but the amazing person she is.

She gave me a look I hadn't seen in a minute. It was one of the ones I loved most on her- loving.

"Thank you, Peter. I really needed to hear that. I guess I forgot myself," She said, still looking at me.

I smiled at her, "So Carter is having a kid, huh?"

"Yeah. They're having a little girl. Julie is five months along," she rolled her eyes.

"I take it you're not too happy about it," I commented.

"I'm thrilled for them," she said but trailed off.

"But?"

"But they're so young. They've never experienced anything but each other and this podunk town. He's doing the right thing and marrying her, but that's a huge life decision to make at 17."

"I never even realized that Carter and I are the same age."

"Yeah. Julie is 18, so that makes it easier for her. So, what's been going on in your life?"

"You saw it last night. I have done nothing but get shitfaced and feel sorry for myself."

She gave me a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry, Peter."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I did it all to myself."

She was silent. We stared at each other for a long time.

Trying to be brave, I said, "I've missed this you know?"

"Missed what?"

"You and me hanging out. I still love you, ya know it?"

"Me too."

So I want to write a one-shot today and I have the time, however, I have no ideas and would really appreciate it if you guys could go over to my one-shot book and look at my list and comment some ideas. All kinds are appreciated, though I prefer F/m or M/m dynamics. If I know enough about a female, I might attempt the shot. Thank you all <3

I'm also planning to update Made to Fly tonight as well.