Kabanata 4
Bumalik kami sa mall matapos mailagay ang mga pinamili sa kotse. He let me choose where we're going to eat dahil may cravings ako.
"The tab is on me, order whatever you want." aniya nang makaupo kami.
"You're so generous today." I said teasingly and squinted my eyes.
He chuckled, "That's because I miss you, and this is my way of congratulating you for being a mom."
"Kung ganon, Marami akong oorderin."
Nandito kami ngayon sa isang chinese restaurant. I've been craving for their dishes since last week, at si Jay ang madalas nag bibigay noon sa akin, he has been a huge help for me on my pregnancy.
Nang maibigay na namin ang mga order, saglit kaming nag-usap ni Joven.
I sipped from the glass of water before turning my head to him, "Are you seeing someone right now?"
"'Yan talaga ang pag-uusapan natin?" he raised his brow
Umirap ako, "Dali na, I'm curious." I shrugged, "Kanina pa tayo nag-uusap tungkol sa akin kaya ang gusto ko, tungkol naman sa iyo."
He folded his arms on the table and leaned closer to me, "I haven't been in a relationship after us. Hindi na ako muli nag-aksaya pa ng panahon para makipag-date."
"Bakit naman? You should try again, I know there's a lot of girls waiting in line to take you out." I joked.
He smirked, "Too much guilt I guess. After what I've done to you."
I blinked, "Joven.."
"I regret what happened. I regret what I've done. We were both young and all I think about was my needs. I never really paid attention to you, I was a jerk. " he explained "And I was wrong. Sana ako ngayon ang kasama mong nagpapalaki sa anak mo ngayon."
Inabot ko ang kamay niya at marahan itong hinaplos. "I already moved on Joven, pinatawad na kita, hindi mo na kailangan pang ma-guilty sa nangyari sa atin. Kung hindi nga nangyari iyon, baka hindi ko makakasama ngayon ang anak ko."
"You're always positive." Iling nito, "Now tell me the name of the guy who got you pregnant so I can beat him up myself."
Natawa ako sa sinabi nito, "Tumigil ka nga. Hindi mo na kailangan gawin 'yun. We were both drunk and sad, then everything happened so fast. At ito ako ngayon, buntis."
"You're a strong person Rachel, alam kong kakayanin mo palakihin ang anak mo. And if you need any help, I'm only one call away."
"You're cheesy."
I felt myself melt for a moment because of what he said. Sobrang nakakagaan sa pakiramdam ang bawat salitang binibitawan nito. Some people wouldn't want to associate themselves with their exes, but in my case, I am really happy to see him again. This is the closure we never had when we broke up. Maturing is when you finally learned how to move on and be happy.
"I hope we can still be friends Rachel."
"Of course we can Joven."
NANG maka-uwi, agad kong inayos ang mga pinamili at naligo. Alas-nuebe na nang maka-higa na ako sa kama para magpahinga.
I couldn't stop smiling as I remember the day I had with him.
Hinaplos ko ang tiyan ko at napa-isip, maybe I should tell my parents about my baby. I wonder how they will react.
Inabot ko ang cellphone mula sa nightstand at hinanap ang numero ni mommy.
Matagal na rin simula nang makausap ko siya. My parents were never really in a relationship when they had me. Katulad na lamang ng kalagayan ko, I was an accident. I grew up with my nannies taking care of me. And by the time I turned eighteen, I moved out of the house they bought for me.
Pinindot ko ang numero ni Mommy at tinawagan iyon. Tatlong beses ko pang inulit ang tawag bago niya ito sinagot.
"Hi mommy!" masayang bati ko.
"Do you need anything? May sasabihin ka ba? I am currently busy Rachel."
"There's something important I want to tell you-"
"Okay well tell that to your Dad, marami lang akong ginagawa para sa kapatid mo. Not right now Rachel." aniya at agad pinatay ang tawag.
Bumuntong hininga ako nang matapos ang tawag. Nothing has changed. Ako lagi ang least priority para sa mga magulang ko. Wala sa sariling umiling ako at hinanap ang numero ni Dad.
He's currently living in New York with his family.
After a few rings, he answered the phone. "Anak, napa-tawag ka."
"Hi Daddy!"
"Kamusta ka na riyan? Do you need anything?" he asked.
Tumikhim ako, "I'm doing great Dad. I called because I have something to tell you."
"You sound serious, may nangyari bang masama?"
Huminga muna ako nang malalim bago magsalita, "I'm sorry Dad, but please don't be mad at me." I paused.
I heard him chuckled, "It depends on how grave it is. Tell me."
"Dad I'm pregnant."
There was a moment of silence after I said those words. Rinig ko ang malalim na hininga ni Dad sa kabilang panig ng telepono. "But you're not seeing anyone.. may kinakasama ka ba?"
Naluluhang inilingan ko ito, "I'm a single mom, Dad."
Another silence.
"Dad?"
"I should've never left you there alone." aniya at narinig ko ang mahinang pagsinghot nito. "I should have been there with you."
It was a very emotional talk with my Dad. Maka-ilang ulit ito humingi ng paumanhin sa mga pagkukuland nito sa akin mula pa nung bata ako.
He was shocked about my pregnancy, but he was also very happy.
I've never been fully open with my Dad but this call changed my perspective about him. He tried to be a Father to me, sa abot ng makakaya niya. I wouldn't say that our relationship is the best, but it is more than enough.
