Kabanata 20
I tried to shift my position again but I still can't sleep. So I sat up on my bed and rested my back on the head board. Nagising ako dahil sa sipa ng anak ko at hindi na maka-tulog muli. I reached for my phone on the bed side table and glanced at the time. It is past five am and I'm still wide awake, habang ang dalawa ko namang kasama ay humihilik na.
Jay looks so tired as he drank a lot of alcohol after we talked last night.
To past the time, I opened my facebook account and scrolled through my newsfeed. I was busy watching a video when someone messaged me.
From Travis:
Can't sleep?
Agad naman akong nag-reply sa kanya, and not a minute later he messaged me again.
From Travis:
I have something to tell you. I'll wait for you outside your casita. Make sure to bring a jacket.
Agad ko naman syang sinunod. I placed my phone back on the table and slowly got up on the bed－trying not to wake Cindy sleeping beside me. Kinuha ko ang cardigan na suot ko kagabi at sinuot ang tsinelas ko.
Nang makalabas ay nakita ko si Travis na naghihintay sa labas. He instantly smiled when he saw me and walked to me. He offered his hand to assist me as I walked down the stairs. Ang casita kasi namin ay naka-angat kaya may hagdanan.
"Careful." aniya.
Nang makababa ay sabay namin tinahak ang trail papunta sa beach. "Bakit gising ka pa?" tanong nito.
"Your daughter woke me up. Sipa nang sipa." reklamo ko rito.
He laughed, "Maybe it's getting tight in there, huh? She needs to get out."
Nang makalapit na kami sa dagat, tumigil ito at luminga-linga sa paligid. "This is a good spot." aniya, kumunot naman ang noo ko at balak ko na sanang magtanong nang iangat nito ang bag na dala.
"Ano'ng gagawin mo riyan?" instead of answering me, he pulled out a blanket out of the bag and laid it out on the sand.
He stood up and offered me his sweetest smile, "Hindi tayo maka-tulog pareho kaya sabay nating papanoorin ang sunrise." aniya at muling inilahad ang kanyang kamay para gabayan ako sa pag-upo ko.
My heart instantly melted for his gesture. So this is what he wanted to tell me.
Tinabi niya ang bag sa gilid namin at umupo sya sa likuran ko. He wrapped his arms around my belly and rested his chin on my shoulders. "Ito pala yung sasabihin mo, akala ko may problema ka." I chuckled.
"I just thought it would be nice for us to watch the sunrise together. You'll be flying to New York in two days and you won't be attending my wedding." he sighed.
Nang sinabi niya iyon ay agad naman akong nalungkot. I've been trying to shrug away the thought of leaving the country because it makes me sad.
"Your wedding." I whispered, "Excited ka na?"
"Of course. Natatakot din." aniya.
"Bakit?"
Huminga ito nang malalim at iginiya ang kanang kamay para hawakan ang akin. He carefully played with my fingers as he talked. "Natatakot na baka hindi ako maging mabuting asawa, baka marami akong pagkukulang. Baka hindi ako maging mabuting ama sa magiging anak namin. Marami akong iniisip. Marami din akong kinakatakot."
I frowned. "Bakit ang negative mo naman mag-isip, syempre hindi naman lahat ng magulang perpekto, pero alam ko namang magiging mabuti kang ama at asawa."
