Carpe Omnia - cash au -

Undone

Nash POV

The hardest thing I've ever had to do was drive away from Cameron after he told me he still loved me and he wanted me back. I wanted to give in so badly and I was so closed to doing it. I wanted to push him against the car and kiss him until our lips were swollen and bruised, until he remembered who belonged to. But I couldn't do that, not after what he did to me. I always thought that if I ever saw him, I'd beg him to take me back and I'm kind of proud of myself for how I handled him.

I grab my box and head up to my apartment, I empty it out and the pictures I was looking at earlier catch my eye again. We were so fucking happy. I know Cameron is not the only one to blame for our break-up because if I hadn't left everything would be fine. But it just showed me that our relationship wasn't as strong as I thought. I believed we could get through anything and I was so wrong.

I miss him so much it hurts and as I think more about it I regret rejecting him. I'm hurting myself too by being apart from him. I wonder if he'll give up and then it would be me that's crawling back to him. I stare at the picture of our high school graduation, that was the most amazing time of my life. I felt like we were invincible. We were heading to college together and we were stronger than ever.

I sigh and put the picture down with the others.

I have a week or so before I begin training with my team. I feel guilty that I just left my mother high and dry so I grab my keys and head back to her house. I park my car in the driveway and when I enter they're setting up the table.

"Oh, hi sweetie. I thought you had left, I'm so happy you came back." My mom says and I give her a soft smile.

"Yeah I just... needed to go for a little ride," I tell her and I sit down at the table. I figure Cam had left after I did so I'm surprised when he comes down the stairs. He stops when he sees me and then he smiles that gorgeous smile that drew me in all those years ago.

He comes into the dining room and sits next to me. I shift uncomfortably and I can't change seats now because everyone is seated. I serve myself a plate of food and I begin to eat, I really missed my mom's cooking. The dinner table is mostly quiet as we eat but once the table is cleared we sit back down to talk for a bit.

We catch up and I can see through my peripheral vision that Cameron keeps his eyes on me. It gets to be a little late so I stand and say my goodbyes, I kiss my mom on the head before I head out to my car.

I'm just reaching my car when I hear my name being called, I turn to see Cameron running after me. I contemplate just getting in the car and driving off again, I'm scared he'll convince me to take him back but I can't bring myself to actually do it.

He stops when he's in front of me and he grabs my shoulders, catching me off guard and presses his lips against mine. This time I can't stop myself from responding immediately, we kiss hungrily and I slide my hands underneath his shirt and stroke the warm skin of his back tenderly.

I want him so bad.

He lets out soft moans as we kiss and the sound turns me on so much.

I need him so bad.

I can't continue to torture myself by resisting him. I'm hurting myself as well when I reject him because I still love him deeply. I could never date anyone because I would forever be comparing them to how Cameron made me feel.

We part again and my head feels heavy lust. I don't let go of his waist and I keep stroking his skin gently.

"Let's go to the cabin, just me and you baby. Let me regain your trust in me, let me show you how much I love you. Give me one chance that's all I'm asking," he pleads with me and I bite my lip as I consider what he's asking of me. I know if I go to the cabin with him I won't be able to resist him. I know we'll come back a couple and after 3 long years without him, I'm ready to be happy again.

I was deluding myself into thinking I didn't need him anymore because I do, I need him in my life. He's the one puzzle piece that's missing from my life and once I have him again everything will be right in my life. It's him or no one and the 3 years of loneliness I had are proof of that fact.

I find myself nodding in agreement, I want to take this step with him. I need him.

His face lights up when I agree to go with him and his presses a hard kiss on my lips.

"Oh, God baby. Thank you so much, I love you. I love you so fucking much, I was so lost without you. I missed your blue eyes, the way you would look at me and say I love you. I miss everything about you," he whispers against my lips and I close my eyes as he rests his forehead against mine. I never thought it would be possible to be healed with just words but that's what he's doing. Every sentence mends another piece of my heart that I believed would be shattered forever.

"Let's go tonight," he says suddenly and I open my eyes, he's looking at me with such hope in his eyes that I can't imagine saying no to him. One day that he's back in my life and I already can't resist him, I want to make him happy and I want to see that smile on his face.

"Okay," I whisper and he breaks out into a wide, happy smile.

"I'll pack my bag and then we can go to your apartment and you can pack yours," he says as he pulls away. He grabs my hand and leads me into his house.

"I can wait outside, Cam," I tell him and he shakes his head at me.

"No way, I don't want you to change your mind and leave." He says quietly and it makes my heart melt. We go up to his room and I sit down on the bed. I feel that familiar wave of nostalgia. We were so young, naive and in love. Life is not as simple as it was when we were in high school with no responsibilities.

He quickly packs a bag and then we head out to my apartment, we go up to my floor and when we enter my apartment he looks around with wide eyes.

"It's really nice," he comments and I shrug.

"My mom helped me furnish it," I tell him and when I go into my room, he follows me. It's like he's afraid if he takes his eyes off of me that I'll disappear and that makes me feel so affectionate towards him. I pack my bag and we head back down to my car.

I drive us up to the mountain and Cameron never takes his eyes off of me. I glance at him and give him a small smile and he flushes at me.

He's so beautiful.

We finally arrive and I park the car in front of it. I sigh as the memories of us and this place come rushing back. This is where we had our first date, where we made love for the first time, and it holds such precious memories.

We head inside and drop our bags off in my room and I grab his hand and lead him to the hammock. We get on it and I cuddle him close, he buries his face in my neck and a smile of content graces his face.

"I dreamed about this moment for so long," I murmur as I lean in and press a soft kiss on his lips. He looks back at me and raises his hand to caress my cheek gently.

He presses his body close against mine and I revel in the warmth from his kisses and his caresses. This is where I'm meant to be, wrapped around Cameron with his lips on mine. This feels so right and everything else pales in comparison to how he makes me feel. I'm still so in love with him, it never diminished, not one bit.

He deepens the kiss by sliding his tongue into my mouth and I slip my hands underneath his shirt and I feel him shiver at my touch. I can't resist him, I need him right now. I stand from the hammock and pull him up with me, I lead him up to my room and push him gently onto the bed and crawl on top of him.

I'm so ready for this.

A/n- 😈 ☺️