Carpe Omnia - cash au -

A Beautiful Mess

Cameron POV

Saying goodbye to Nash is so hard, he's going to be gone for 2 weeks and it's going to be hell. Between the stress of med school and being away from my husband, I don't know how I'm going to make it through. I have to learn how because this is going to be our new reality. I drop him off at the airport and we kiss goodbye until the very last minute until they start checking his team in. I watch as he goes through security and I have to fight not to cry on my way back home.

I crawl back into bed when I get back to our apartment and I cuddle with Nash's pillow until I fall back asleep.

I'm woken up by my alarm a few hours later, I drag myself out of bed and get ready to go to the class. I definitely need some coffee this morning because of what little sleep I got. I stop by Dunkin Donuts for coffee and then head to class. I've made a few friends that I've neglected because I always want to study at home, the time Nash and I have together is limited so I opt to go home instead of joining the study group. These two weeks I'll definitely study with them because Nash is gone and I'll be lonely.

I sit in my usual spot and slowly the other students trickle in. I spot one of my friends Andrea Russet walk into class carrying coffee and her laptop like the rest of us.

"Ready for this one?" Andrea says as she sits next to me.

"God, no. I barely got sleep last night and I'm exhausted," I tell her as I sip my coffee.

"Why'd you barely get sleep? Studying all night?' She asks with a small smile on her face.

Andrea is genuinely such a nice person, she reminds me of Mahogany is so many ways. My thoughts cause a flash of guilt to go through me, I really neglected my friendship with Mahogany when Nash and I broke up. She was the first to tell me what an idiot I had been and so I started ignoring her texts and calls because I didn't want to hear it. I was so proud and stubborn that I didn't want to admit what a bad choice I had made. Mahogany eventually stopped communicating with me and I never rekindled our friendship when I got my head out of my ass because I felt too awful about the situation and I didn't want to face it.

"I did study a lot but I was doing some other stuff as well," I reply and I'm vague about it on purpose. I haven't introduced Nash to my friends from school, I'm so paranoid that one of them will try to steal him from me. I know it makes no sense but it's happened so many times that I just don't want to take the risk.

"We should go out for drinks when we own the shit out of this test," Andrea tells me and I laugh softly at her.

"It'll either be drinks to celebrate or drinks to drown our sorrows cause we failed, either way we still have drinks." I reply and she reaches over with her palm out, I slap it lightly just as the professor walks into the auditorium.

"Put everything underneath your chairs, books, laptops, coffee, bottled water. You know the drill," he states and the room is a flurry of activity as everyone follows his instructions. This professor is a hard ass, he will immediately fail you if there's even a hint of cheating.

As soon as he passes out the test I get to work, I feel so relieved half way through because I know most of the answers. I guess my studying last night was effective.

When the class is finished the test we move on to new content. Unlike in undergrad where I used to get let out as soon as I finished the test, we actually have to learn after our brains are fried.

I finish my coffee as I type out detailed notes on my laptop. When I get back home I'll print them out and highlight important parts.

We are let out hours later and Andrea and I immediately hit the bar with a couple of our other friends.