Challenge #36

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 Jace POV

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 Jace POV


The guilt wracks through my body. The guilt of using Clary. The guilt of losing Clary. The guilt of everything I have done to Genevieve. The guilt of not trusting her. The guilt of letting her get taken. 

I don't feel anything but guilt anymore. 

Knowing she is out there suffering, scared and possibly hurt. God what if she's hurt? What will he have done to her? What will he do to her?

I haven't been able to sleep or rest and it's only been a day since she was taken. 

We have no way of tracking her, Valentines wards are far too complex for shadow hunters to break down.  We've lost Magnus, the only warlock who would offer us help, and the Clave is compromised by who knows how many active circle members who were never found out. 

As such, the Clave is having a meeting at the Institute today but only with limited members, only the families they trust. The Lightwoods being one of them, and that's how we are going to find out their plans. 

The members had been arriving throughout the morning as I heard the greetings between them all morning. However, I had not yet left my room to greet any of them. Instead I've just heard their loud voices drifting up to my room, distracting me from my thoughts. 

Dragging myself off the bed that we shared far too long ago, I make my way to the ensuite. The vanity mirror reflecting a man I no longer recognise. My face is wrinkled with worry, the bags underneath my eyes have already started to grow, and overall I just look unhealthy. 

I shower quickly, hoping to avoid the gut wrenching thoughts that plague my mind ever since I broke it off with her, ever since I lied to her. Cleaning myself up and pulling myself together. 

I can't keep wallowing, I need to find them. 

I need to find her. 

It's not a want anymore, it is a desperate need. I need her in my life. I need to know she's ok. I need her. I love her and I need her. 

These are truths, the truths that drive the guilt. 

She is my person, and she is in harms way. 

And that is my fault. 


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