What's been missing

what did i do?

violet

what did i do wrong?

the guys all come to the dinner table but all of them are quiet and only speak to me when i ask them something. this lunch is very awkward.

they all seem to enjoy the food, going back for seconds and thirds. nobody looks me in the eye.

seriously! what did i do?

"so...don't get too full. i made banana pudding for dessert." i say giving them a bright smile.

nobody says anything or reacts. i try my hardest to keep my smile bright.

i get up and bring the pudding from the refrigerator and some bowls to the table. i begin to gather the plates that they are done with and put them in the sink for me to wash. i also gather the letfovers and put them in the fridge.

while they are eating their desserts, i unload the dishwasher and rinse the dishes before loading them and washing the pots and pans by hand. slowly, they bring their bowls into the kitchen.

i can't look at them and smile so i keep my head down and just point to the sink when they bring the dish in.

when i'm alone in the kitchen, i let the tears fall. i don't know what i did wrong but they are being so cold and distant. i thought we were all good and had a pretty good working relationship. i mean, yeah i turned yoongi down from going to the store with me, but that was for his sake. maybe they just wanted the professional relationship and it would be like this when there wasn't a schedule.

i sniff and continue to wash the dishes through blurry eyes.

"violet? are you okay?" a voice says behind me.

i quickly wipe my eyes on my sleeve and take a deep breath.

"yeah. i'm fine. just finishing up and then i will get out of the way." i say.

i hear the foot steps walk away and finish the dishes and wipe everything down. i grab the broom and do a quick sweep of the dining room and kitchen before heading to my room.

i sit on my bed and stare blankly at the floor before the tears start to fall again. i don't know why i am this upset. i mean, i've only known them just over a day or so. so they don't want a relationship, aside from professional. not even friendly. thats fine. i can do that but for now, i will let myself cry it out and then maybe soak in the tub. i'll be alright.

jungkook

i walk into the kitchen to get a bottle of water as violet is washing dishes and hear her sniffle. it sounds like she's crying.

"violet? are you okay?" i ask.

"yeah. i'm fine. just finishing up and then i'll get out of the way." she says quickly.

i slowly and quietly walk back into the living room with the rest of the guys.

"what is it kookie?" jin asks.

"violet." i say.

"what about her? i thought we were gonna keep our distance." hobi says.

"yeah i know. i just went to the kitchen and she was still washing dishes...i-i think she was crying."

"why do you think that?" taehyung ask quietly.

"she was sniffling and wiped her face quickly when i asked if she was okay. she talked in a rush telling me that she was just finishing up and then would get out of the way." i say sadly. it was killing me to think she was upset.

quickly, yoongi got up and went to the kitchen and we all followed. she was no longer there. he went to her door and raised his hand to knock when we all heard the cries coming from inside. his hand fell to his side. he turned and looked at us and pointed to the back door.

we all headed outside and sat on the patio in the middle of the yard.

"did we do that?" i ask.

"i-i think we did." namjoon said.

"she was trying so hard during lunch. i mean she made that big meal, plus dessert and none of us even said thank you." hobi said.

"we didn't even offer to help her bring the groceries in. i watched her from my window, do three trips to get everything. i feel like an ass." i said.

"come to think of it, she tried to make conversation and smile all through lunch, but none of would talk unless she asked us specifically." jin said.

"she smiled so bright when she told us about dessert, probably thinking that would make us happy. we were jerks. she cooked all that food, dessert and then cleaned up after and we were rude and made her cry." jimin said.

"i know we feel bad, but we need to maintain the professional relationship and nothing else. we don't want to lead her on when we know nothing will come of it." namjoon said.

i got up and move into the yard and taehyung and jimin followed. i picked a soft spot and laid down. i felt terrible. i like violet.

we were in the yard for an hour or two before coming back inside. we passed her door as we came inside. the door was slightly open. down the hallway, about halfway, there is a large window with a seat, looking out into the back yard.

there was violet. blanket over her lap, legs curled up and a book on the floor next to her outstretched hand. she must have dropped it when she fell asleep.

the guys all paused and looked at her before continuing to walk. i stopped and looked at her. her face was puffy from crying. i tucked some hair behind her ear and ran my finger down her cheek. god! we really were jerks.

i went to my room and shut the door to lay down. i hated this feeling. something was wrong, but i didn't want to go against my boyfriends. maybe they were right and this was the best way.

i must have drifted off because i am awakened to the feeling of fingers in my hair. i open my eyes and see hobi.

"wake up baby. its after 8 and you won't sleep tonight if you don't get up. let's go see what's for dinner."

we all walk into the kitchen together and it's empty. no violet and no evidence that she had even been in there.

i walk over to the fridge and see a note attached.

'gone out for a while. dinner will be leftovers. i even saved the banana pudding so enjoy.'
                                      -violet

i read out loud.

"she's not here." i said.

none of us really feel like eating after everything so we head back into the living room. we put a movie on, but i don't think anyone is really watching.

finally, around 2 am, namjoon's phone rings.

"hello?"

"yes, is this namjoon?"

"yes..."

"i am the bartender for Bottom's Up downtown. we have a violet here. she is totally smashed and we took her keys. is there anyway you can give me her address and i'll call her a cab?"

"oh my goodness. yes." he rattles off our address, thanks whoever is on the other line and hangs up.

we all look at him.

"that was a bartender for a bar downtown. violet is drunk and they took her keys. they are gonna call her a cab and bring her home." he says.

we all look at one another.

when the cab pulls up, namjoon goes outside to pay the driver and i grab the semi-conscious girl from the backseat.

"kookie?" she says as she looks at me with blurry eyes.

she smiles at me. "sweet kookie. what did i do wrong? why do you hate me now? my sweet, sweet kookie." she says and then passes out completely.

i put her in bed and pull the covers up before walking back into the living room to the guys.

"this is our fault. she asked me what she did wrong for us to hate her now. we are the reason she went out drinking." i say and then storm off to my room, slamming the door.