Entertaining a Small Thought

4th Arc Part 5: Past, Present, and Future

"I said all of that, but how am I supposed to relax?" I muttered as I kicked my feet around like a bored child.

I had finally made it down that hellish staircase, and I was now sitting on a bench I found in the courtyard to catch my breath after having grabbed something to eat. Yet, as I was sitting there, I realized I had no idea what I was going to do for the day. My only plan for the day before Kaito dragged me away was just to lay around by myself in my room while ignoring my inner demons' pleas to kill myself. Now that my schedule was cleared up, I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

I did want to just relax. From the moment I woke up in that locker now up until now, all I had done was work towards ending the killing game. Sure, I spent time with the others, but I never spent a lot of time by myself, not thinking about anything relating to the killing game. I've constantly been doing something, whether it be planning and fighting against Monokuma and this death game, or talking with the others to help reassure them or get to know them better to help prevent their own deaths.

I never let myself have a 'me day'. Sure, at this point, I knew the others quite well and I had a decent grasp of the situation.

Well, I had a decent grasp of the situation until yesterday.

I shook my head. Nope. Get that thought out of here. No thinking about the killing game, or the outside world, or anything else that isn't me and my own well-being. Mental health is important, and clearly, I've been putting it off long enough.

That's when something occurred to me. Have I...ever...taken time to just unwind in my normal life before this? To truly unwind? I thought about it long and hard, and suddenly felt my heart drop. I couldn't recall a single time I took a break from anything. I couldn't even remember the last time I took a day off before getting stuck at this hell of an academy. When was the last time I had fun with a hobby I liked? When was the last time I hung out with friends just to hang out with friends?

I couldn't help but facepalm at the realization I just made. Oh god... I'm a workaholic. I'm a workaholic who never takes breaks from the job he hates. For some reason...

And yet somehow... everything is starting to make sense. So this was just building up, was it? This was a long time coming with all the stress I'm under nowadays, I suppose. But now that I'm ready, willing, and in desperate need of a mental health break, what am I supposed to do?

That's when an idea came to mind. I could think of one thing absolutely certainly I would enjoy doing: pissing off Monokuma. And what has been the best way to do that while I've been here? Derailing the killing game, if I believe what Monokuma said, but also running off with a fortune of Monocoins at the casino. That was some of the most fun I've had here. I don't really use Monocoins for anything, despite having an entire Ryoma-sized bag full of them, but I might as well try and clear the casino out completely.

I can only imagine the look on that stupid bear's face when I make off with all of his coins. I'll show him that the house doesn't always win.

So I got up and walked over to the casino, giggles escaping from my lips as I thought of pissing off the bear that's been at my throat for the half month we've been here. After enjoying the walk to the casino, I entered the building and headed for the stairs that led to where the machines were, but that's when I saw a sign, and I felt my heart sink even lower than it was before.

Rin Wakuri is banned from the casino, by order of Headmaster Monokuma. If he is caught downstairs in the casino area, he will be killed by the Exisals for breaking the rules.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed as I fell to my knees and cried.

I suppose I was wrong. The house really does win all the time.