Allegro con fuoco

V

John was baffled for just a second, before his mouth took over and he started laughing out loud. 
"Whoa, did I ever have a gaydar fail? That one I had not seen coming!"
"Oh, you didn't know I was gay?" Todd said, his tone so innocent that all of them started grinning. Meanwhile Ian was looking so happy and proud to be called Todd's boyfriend that Eddy thought he might float away through one of the large windows or something. 
"Ha! No, yes, that one I got, Todd. Wow, congrats, I guess! You're both looking a lot better."
"I'm feeling a lot better. And, um... I guess I'd have to say I'm bi." Ian said quietly. 
There was a weight to his tone, and Eddy could tell it meant something for him to say this. He was sure John could too, but the conductor simply smiled kindly and picked up his baton.
"Cool. Well, I'm very happy for you both! Now, let's see how this Dvorák sounds now then."

Eddy was very relieved when the rehearsal was over. God, he was tired, and his neck hurt. They were all just packing up, when John was suddenly beside him again. 
"You good, Eddy?" he said so quietly the others surely wouldn't hear.
Eddy took a deep breath, and suddenly he had to push down a whole well of tears he hadn't expected to be there at all. Shit, what was it about John, that he always got right down to the core of things?
"I am now. Sorry for worrying you this morning. I couldn't say, you know..."
John nodded. 
"Yes, of course. I get that. But I think you've done a bit of worrying yourself, yes?"
"Yeah. Um. For a while now. It's... it's a relief."
John put his hand on his right arm for just a second. 
"Good. You're a good friend."
Eddy blinked as he tried to understand which friendship he was talking about. 
"Thanks, John."

They didn't even discuss plans, on their way back to the hotel for the second time that day, they all just left the lift quietly and went into their own rooms. Eddy walked into theirs, put his violin down and let himself fall on the bed like a stone. Brett put his violin next to Eddy's and climbed on the bed too. 
"You good?"
Somehow hearing that sentence again did it, even though Eddy had never expected it anymore. The tears he had pushed down in front of John were back in full force and before he knew it he was swiping at the first tear that fell. 
"Eddy..." Brett said quietly. 
"No... don't worry. I'm fine." Eddy tried, but God, why couldn't he stop crying? This was supposed to be a happy time! One he didn't want to destroy for Brett in any way, shape or form! But the tears pressed up at him inexorably and he turned around and sobbed into his pillow. 
He could feel Brett lying down beside him, turning him into the little spoon, putting his arm around him and stroking his arm softly from behind. 
"Hey." he said soothingly. "It's okay. Just let it out."
Oceans of old worry seemed to be bubbling up inside him, rising upwards, making themselves known, then pouring out of his eyes into his pillow. 
"It's okay." Brett said again. "You did good, my sweet Eddy."
He let the soft words wash over him, healing him, making it all better. 
Brett always made everything better. 

It took forever to cry himself out, or so it seemed, but in the end the sobbing quieted down, and all that was left behind was that feeling of moving through wall paper paste. He didn't even want to get up to eat. 
"I'm so tired." he said in a voice that was still thick with tears. 
"Okay, sweety. Why don't you sleep a bit. Then we'll go grab some hotpot."
Brett's hand was still on his arm, stroking him softly, and he could feel his gentle breaths against the skin of his neck. 
"I love you, Bretty."
"I love you too. Very much."
He would have said something sweet back, something deep, maybe, but he was already asleep.