Allegro con fuoco

XXX

"I cannot believe we are actually here." Eddy said softly. They four of them had finished all the lager they had in the fridge, and eventually they had all gone to bed. Brett had undressed him, tenderly, making him feel like the most cherished being in the world. Then he had pushed him under the sheets and he had settled into him, his head on Brett's shoulder, his arm across Brett's chest. 
"I know. Me neither. We are... out. Well. At least to our parents."
Eddy shuddered softly as the feelings he had been trying to push out all night pulled through him. 
"Yeah."
Brett stroked his hair gently. 
"It'll be okay, Eddy. One way or another."
The embarrassed pause made Eddy lift up his head and look at his love. Wait. What was Brett not telling him? 
"What?" he asked his love as his heart started pounding. He pushed himself up on his elbow, leaving his free hand on Brett's belly.
"Nothing." Brett said shyly. 
But it wasn't nothing, obviously. Brett wouldn't be embarrassed about nothing. 
"Fuck that. Tell me, Bretty, what's up?"
Brett took a deep breath and shook his head. 
"Oh, God, Eddy. Never mind. It's just me, being stupid."
"Brett, now you're just freaking me out. Tell me, please?"
Brett seemed to hesitate for another second, then he grimaced and shrugged at the same time.
"Fuck. Ah, Eddy." he said plaintively, so softly that Eddy could barely hear him. "It's just... I just... Yeah. I guess... I guess was just never really completely sure what you would choose... you know, if it came down to it?"
Brett was looking away from him, down, his whole body exuding embarrassment. "I... I don't know." he whispered. "I guess... part of me feels like I'm taking your mum away from you?"
Eddy blinked in shock and for a long moment he had no idea how to react. How had he never known that Brett felt this way? How long had he felt this way? He had to tell him now, show him, he had to make sure he knew exactly how he felt. 
"Bretty." he said as he put his fingers on Brett's cheek and gently turned his face towards him. "Hey. There was never a choice when it came to that. Never. It's what I've been understanding tonight: love trumps everything. It was always going to be you, always."
Brett looked at him soberly for the longest moment, when suddenly a tear welled up in his eye and spilled over onto his cheek. He swiped at it quickly and he put his hand on top of Eddy's. 
"Wow." he said softly. 
"Bretty, please. I'm just sorry I didn't know you felt this way. That it all took so long. That it hurt you. I didn't know it was. I would have... I would have told you sooner."
"I didn't say. It felt stupid to feel this way."
"Nothing you feel is stupid to me."
Brett smiled softly and pulled him a bit closer. 
"And it hurt you too. I wish it hadn't."
Eddy shrugged. 
"I'll live."

And it was true, he knew that. Even if his mum didn't come around, he had Brett, he had Todd and Ian, and Lily, and John. He had so many people now, who where like family, who accepted him just as he was. 
He should never forget that. 

It was getting very late by this point, but a thought had been in the back of his mind. 
Later. 
Brett's look had said later, earlier today in the park in their spot, even though that now felt like it was three years ago. And Eddy didn't really want to go to sleep anyway, he didn't want to feel what quietness would do to him, didn't want to see what dreams were in store for him. So he settled back down into Brett's shoulder and let his hand roam over Brett's belly. 
He could feel him responding straight away. Brett's breath stopped for a second as Eddy's fingers touched the waistband of his boxershorts, and the soft skin of his lower belly quivered lightly as he glanced past it. He hadn't touched him there yet, but he knew full well that he was growing. Then Brett cleared his throat very lightly. 
"Er. You... you don't have to, you know."
"No, but I'd like to. Or..." he lifted his head to check Brett's face. "Don't you want me to?"
"Are you kidding? Of course! But you've had... quite the night. You... you know, with your mum, and you were sick. I mean, I can't ask you to..."
Eddy smiled and pressed a kiss to his love's forehead. 
"I'm not sick anymore. And I want to."
Brett's face relaxed instantly, and he could feel the little shiver that pulled through him. 
"Okay. If you're sure."
Eddy's hand was already moving again. 
"Completely sure."