Clark stayed for a few more days, then left. It was nice having him around. The fact that he was somewhat the same as you was something that brought you ease.
Today is the same as always, you're making your way up to the elevator. Hotch stops the elevator, and you step in, greeting him.
"Good morning Sir."
"Good morning. You seem to be in a good mood."
"Yes, I guess having Clark here really helped. It's been a while since I've seen him."
"You both seem very close."
"Yep, we are. I actually met him through a good friend of mine. Lois is amazing."
"So the two of you are..."
"Are?"
You turn to figure out what he means, and when he gives you a look, it seems to click.
"OH!! N-No no we're not like that!" You start making hurried motions with your hands.
"Clark and I are strictly platonic. Lois is his wife and he's more like a brother than anything else."
"I see." You calm down a little now that the misunderstanding is cleared up.
"Besides, even if he was single he's not my type at all." You let out a small laugh. Hotch raises a brow.
"What is your type?"
You blink, and your cheeks becomes the shade of cherries.
"W-What?"
"You said he isn't your type."
"D-Did I?"
"You did."
You swallow, and when the doors open you can't get out fast enough.
"Garcia what do we have today?"
You want anything to distract yourself. She starts laying out the case as everyone follows. As you walk away, you can't help but feel Hotch's eyes on you the entire way over.
~~~
You all landed pretty late. So the plan was to start fresh in the morning. Hotch is gathering his things to make his way up to his room for the night. You're going back and forth with Reid and Morgan about something, and Hotch revels in your happy smile as you enter the hotel. Rossi walks over.
"So how long are you going to keep staring at her?" He averts his gaze, fixing it on Rossi.
"Excuse me?"
"Don't act coy. I'm not blind. We're profilers, remember."
Sometimes he really did forget.
"You have feelings for her, don't you?"
Hotch was silent as he stopped by the door. Any lie he were to tell Rossi would see through. And as he's realized, he's not the best at keeping his eyes off you.
"I'm her superior."
It was like he needed to remind himself.
"Hotch, after all they've put us through, I don't think the director cares much for a fraternization policy that no one follows."
That was also true, but still. It felt wrong to pursue you. Like an abuse of his power. He wasn't stupid either, he'd seen the way you looked at him. But he'd cough it up to nervousness. You were in a new environment. Trying to fit in with the team, earn their trust. There was also a prominent secret that only he knew about. It wasn't strange for people to form bonds based off of something like that. You relied on him. Those looks could have meant any number of things. He needed to focus on the task at hand.
"See you at eight."
He didn't address the statement, and Rossi sighed as the door closed behind Hotch. It would take a lot to get him to own up to what he was feeling. Especially since he'd been out of practice.
~~
The following morning Hotch was fully dressed, maybe a bit early. He'd gathered some papers and made his way to have breakfast. Sifting through the documents, he raised his head when he heard a soft yawn. You were dressed, but you looked a lot less awake.
"Good morning." You offer a soft smile.
"Morning Aaron."
It's said sleepily, and did he imagine the adoration in your tone?The surprise was clear on his face, and it took you a few moments to realize just what it is you said. That familiar pink adorned your cheek with a vengeance, and before you could go into a rant of apologies, he shook his head.
"It's alright."
He continued sipping at coffee, and you busied yourself with getting a meal. When you were done, you felt a bit frazzled. Hotch was the only one awake, so it would be rude to sit somewhere else. Gathering your courage, you sat down next to him at the table. He gave another glance, and you direct your focus on the papers he has.
"He never stops working, does he?"
He is the team leader, so it's not uncommon.
"Something on your mind?" He inquires.
Funny he should mention that. You could ask the same, but it wouldn't be hard to figure out.
"Hotch, thank you."
Now he lays his gaze on you, the documents somewhat forgotten.
"What exactly are you thanking me for?"
"My secret."
"I already told you, there's no need."
"I think there is."
He's so humble about it all. But he could have just as easily told the BAU. They may have thought he was crazy, but still.
"A part of me is glad that you're the one that found out. You probably don't know this but you're different from a lot of people." He's invested now.
"Different how?"
You slide your mug to the side.
Pressing your forefingers to your forehead, you explain.
"My mind is like a vacuum, it pulls in all the clutter. Thoughts that stray, feelings that are strong. I feel and hear it all. For some it's easy. Even if I don't mean to, more times than not, I hear them. Like Garcia for instance."
Ah, it made sense that you'd be able to read Garcia easily.
"Honestly I have to say I enjoy her more than anyone, her thoughts usually revolve around cute clothes and stuffed animals."
Given what she sees daily, it's heartwarming to know that she still chooses to be so full of light.
Hotch smiles.
"People like that, they're the easiest. But some like Clark for example, he isn't human. So I can't hear a thing. Not a whisper. I think that's why I've always felt safe around him. He was the first person I met that I couldn't read. He's kind, genuine and honest." You move your fingers to the top of Hotch's palm.
"Although you're human, I get the same feelings from you. Your thoughts aren't as easily accessible to me, and I think it's because you're different, special I guess. That's why I feel so safe around you."
Hotch isn't sure how to respond to that. Right now there is so much running around in his head just from your touch, and he prays he can maintain this special ability you believe he has, because if you were to hear what he wanted to do right now, he's positive that the view you have of him would change.
"Good morning early birds!"
Rossi's voice fills the room, and you withdraw your hand slowly, sending Rossi a smile as you greet him. Through your conversation with Rossi, you send a look to Hotch. It's brief, and it emits so much warmth. Hotch swallows, tightening his fist in his lap.
This was a bit tortuous.
