All that Manchester showed you, it was real. You had to believe it. You saw it all with your own eyes. There was a chance to bring Hailey back. Hotch would have his wife, and Jack would have a mother.
"It's your choice. I know you care about him. It's why I showed you this. You deserved to know. To be given the opportunity that I didn't have."
All this time, how often had he gone back there to watch your mother. Trapped in that time, with all that sadness.
It hurts.
His pain, your pain, and the decision that you needed to make. Was it your right to rob Hotch of a new future. One where he would be happy.
Even if that happiness would not be with you.
"(Y/N)."
"Garcia, what's up."
"We're all meeting at the round table, is everything okay?"
You nod.
"Are you sure, you've been standing by the elevator for a while. I saw you when I checked my card in. "
You are in fact just standing at the elevator.
Who knows how many times it has opened and closed as you stood there.
"Sorry, I guess I zoned out." Garcia sort of tiptoes over.
"Are you doing it right now?" She whispers.
You grin at her attempt to be subtle. Tilting your head, she watches, and you carefully shift a pen from one of the tables. Garcia watches in awe as it rolls towards the left all on its own. You stop it when you think someone might see, and when there are no eyes in that general area, you roll it back right up onto the piece of paper. Garcia claps excitedly.
"That was like magic, but real magic you know."
You giggle at her excitement.
Somehow you know you'll be spending the remainder of your week entertaining Garcia's curiosity.
~~~
A few days working another case, and the relief of catching the criminal is what you always look forward to. Hotch insisted on dropping you home, and of course you couldn't deny him. After urging him to stay for a while, things feel a bit more settled.
Hotch exits your bathroom after washing his hands. You both had a nice meal, and sat for an hour or two, watching a movie. He'd plan to head back home. Jack was spending the night at a friend's so he wasn't in a rush.
A part of him doesn't truly want to leave you. It's clear that you've had a lot on your mind lately. But he feels like if he stays, then he'll be tempted to start asking questions. He doesn't want to profile. You've shared so much of yourself already, so when you're ready, you'll share this part too.
You meet him at the entrance of your bedroom door.
"Are you heading back already?"
"Yes."
He moves to walk over, leaving a comforting kiss on your cheek. The one you look forward to. When he straightens, you know he's about to tell you goodbye. You take his hand, and he stops.
"Don't go.."
You sound so vulnerable. This time his protective gaze is amplified.
"I won't, I'm right here okay look."
He takes your hand and places it against his chest. You relax when you feel his steady heartbeat. It's as he assumed. You're still afraid that you'll lose him. He kisses you again, but this time, it's meant to further convince you that he's there with you. Your response is instant, and any thought of leaving has disappeared. He lifts you right off your feet, lips still joined as he carries you to the bed. When he places you on your feet. He parts to watch your body. You're breathless, and so clearly aroused. His jacket is the first to go. The dress you wear is one he admires, but right now there is a better place it can be.
"Turn around."
It sounds like an order.
One that you obey eagerly.
This isn't like all the other times. Before you both could barely control yourselves. But each time after that, your touches have become more sensual, calculated. Hotch paid close attention to your little sounds and looks. He learned to read which places brought the most pleasure. This is one of those times where he wants to slow down and live in the moment. His fingers brush your shoulder, and the loose material slides off as he pushes it down. It pools at your feet, and you almost hiss at the cool air that hits your breasts.
Now standing there in just your underwear, you're a bit surprised you haven't buckled yet. His hand reaches around, and it slips to the front, sliding right into your panties. You close your eyes, letting out a shallow breath when those digits land right where you need them the most. He leaves a kiss on your shoulder, and you're frankly surprised that you can still support yourself in this situation. He slips a finger in, and you shiver, clenching your fist.
"I can feel you holding it in. You don't have to, it's just the two of us."
You'll never truly figure out just how he's capable of doing that. But right now it's the least of your problems. You press your hand to the dresser that's close by to steady your balance, and it makes your back arch slightly.
"H..Hotch.."
He nods, and altogether his hands are gone. You can't help the whine you let out. He helps you to lay down on the bed, and soon he's removing his shoes, and the remainder of his clothing. The way he discards his tie feels like something you've seen in those over processed drama series.
"I've been watching too much television."
His clothes join the heap on the floor, and you can barely wait for him to come for you. Reaching up, you kiss him, pulling him onto the bed. His body covers your own as you both meet the silk of your mattress.
"I love you Aaron Hotchner."
He doesn't have to say the words, because you always know.
