is this love?

9

after we fill our plates, we go to the table to get seated. i sit beside nick and remember i didn't get a drink. i start to get up when matt comes to sit beside me with two drinks in his hands. "sprite's good, right?" he asks me. oh my god how sweet. "yes. thank you."

he of course has his root beer. that stuff is seriously gross. i don't know why he likes it so much.

he sits beside me and the whole meal i keep looking over at him. watching him eat, i know, weird, but anything he does is mesmerizing and attractive. like, wow, this beautiful human eats food. i've known him literally almost my whole life, but lately it's like i'm seeing him in a whole new light.

my mom texted me to be home before eight and that kinda killed my mood. but, hey, she did let me hang with my friends when i technically wasn't supposed to.

after dinner, i told everyone i had to go home, and the guys walked with me.

on our way, chris looked at me, "hey, y/n, since i don't have a girlfriend this year, would you go to prom with me?" wow. i wasn't expecting that. last year he went with a girl from a different school. her name was paige. she was nice at first, but we never really hit it off. chris found out she had been cheating on him the day after she went to prom with him, right before their one month anniversary.

"uhh..." if i was going to prom with one of the straight sturniolos, (last year me and nick went as friends) i wanted to go with matt.

then, light bulb, perfect excuse, "actually, laken really wanted you to ask her." chris didn't look too disappointed. he looked like he bought it. it wasn't a complete lie though, laken did think chris was hot.

matt glanced over at me and looked pleased, almost flattered. he walked with a slight grin the rest of the way to my house.

chris agreed to go with laken saying she was a little fan-girly, but seemed cool.

when i got inside, my dad was on the couch watching tv and my mom was doing the dishes.

"need any help?" i asked her. i hated how my dad never helped around the house.

"no, i'm almost done." she seemed in a decent mood.

i took a shower and thought about prom. i wanted to ask matt. but i was too scared. he's not gay like nick, we can't just go to prom together and have it be totally platonic. hell, we can't even be in the same room alone together and it be platonic anymore.

i just don't want him to reject me. that would be so awkward and it would ruin our friendship.

i spent longer in the shower than usual. my brain going 100 miles an hour thinking about prom.

instead of staying in my room, i decide to go downstairs with my parents. i haven't spent time with them in a while.

i lay down on the couch to watch tv with them. it's on some game show.

i find myself wishing matt would come visit me again like he did last night. just in case, i went back up to my room.

10:00, no matt. 11:00, no matt. i guess he's not coming.

what if that was just a one time thing? what if the kiss was just a one time thing?

i go to snapchat and open some snaps. one from each of the boys. nick looking comfy in his bed, chris flipping off the camera while making a stupid face, and matt with wet hair and bare shoulders, looking fresh out of the shower. god, i'm sure he knows what he's doing to me.

i start to snap him back, but stop when i realize how ratchet i look. i decide to send him a snap of my toes. why not?

i end up falling asleep before he snaps back.

i wake up the next morning with a painful ache in my throat and body aches. shit. i sit up and see that the time is just a couple minutes before my alarm goes off. i groan and turn off my alarm and go back to sleep.

i hear my door swing open. "y/n! what are you doing not ready for school?!" my mom shouts at me.

"i feel like crap." i answer weakly. "are you sick?" she asks. "yeah." she better let me stay home today.

she came over to my bed and put a hand on my head.

"you don't have a temperature. you're going to school."

i didn't have the energy to fight so i waited until she left my room and rolled out of bed. she never lets me skip school.

i throw on a hoodie and pajama pants. i do the bare minimum to get ready and go downstairs for my mom to take me to school.

at school, i feel like dying. i definitely have a cold. a bad one too. my throat hurts so bad and my body aches just as bad. not to mention i'm so tired i can barely keep my eyes open.

after a long day of absolute hell, i text the guys in our group chat that i am going to have my mom pick me up instead of them driving me, because i didn't want them to catch whatever sickness i have.

matt texts back first saying it's fine and to ride with them anyway, with chris and nick agreeing.

i can't say i'm disappointed that i still get to ride home with them.

when i finally get in the van, i close my eyes and sigh, just wanting to fall asleep.

"i can't believe your mom wouldn't let you stay home today." nick comments. "i can." i dead pan.

i see matt glancing at me with worried eyes through the rear view mirror. i still get butterflies.

"i'm okay though." i state in hopes to assure matt.

when we get to our neighborhood, i ask matt if he can just stop by my house to drop me off. i was obviously not up for hanging out. i felt like passing out.

when i get out of the car, all three of them tell me bye and hope that i feel better.

i go straight to my bed and take a nap.

i wake up an hour later and look at my phone. i have a text from matt: are u ok?

he's so sweet. i think of texting back yes, but that would be a lie.

i just feel like shit. is what i go with.

can i come over? he texts back.