is this love?

23

me and matt practically kissed each other to sleep. way better than how i was crying myself to sleep not too long ago.

i guess we were just making up for lost time. we were not thinking about the consequences of what we were doing, but if we kept it our little secret like we had been, there wouldn't be any.

i woke up to the sun peeking through my window. i was lying on my back and was trying to figure out if matt was really here last night or if it was a dream. that question was answered when i looked over to see him sleeping soundly next to me. he was always so cute when he slept. i just watched him and savored the moment just encase it never happens again. last night we were kissing and cuddling like it would never happen again. the thought was a stab in the gut.

i pushed the thought from my head and detracted myself by kissing each of his closed eye lids lightly until they fluttered open. his lips pulled into a sweet smile as his eyes opened. he was so perfect. it was so quiet and peaceful as we just stared into each others eyes until there was a bang on my door, "y/n! be ready for church in 20 minutes!" my mom called. i completely forgot it was sunday morning.

i shot up out of the bed and looked around in my closet for an outfit.

i laid out a nice shirt and a pair of jeans then went to brush my teeth. when i came back, matt was sitting up on the bed with messy hair and puffy eyes. he smiled at me friendly and i almost laughed when i noticed a light purple mark on his neck. i had given him a hicky last night apparently.

" i think i gave you a hicky." i said amused as i came closer to him.

"yeah," he said looking into his camera on his phone to see it himself, "you did."

even though it was a "love mark" it was still a mark and i felt kind of bad about it. i know, you usually don't feel bad for giving someone a hicky, but i never wanted to see matt hurt. "does it hurt?" i asked him.

"no." he answered simply. even though his said no, i leaned in and kissed the spot as gently as possible. he laughed and shoved me off him, "what are you doing?"

"kissing it better, obviously." i told him.

"y/n! we're leaving in one minute!" my moms voice shrieked from downstairs.

i sigh dramatically. i grabbed my close and was about to leave to get dressed in the bathroom.

"you don't have to leave. i won't look." matt smirked at me.

"sorry, i'm not performing a strip tease on a sunday morning." i responded before going back to the bathroom.

as soon as i got done my mom was yelling that it was time to go and i was throwing on deodorant and jewelry.

matt threw me my phone as i grabbed some shoes and flew out of my bedroom, turning around to flash him a smile.

church dragged on as usual. my stomach growled from lack of breakfast as i day dreamed about eating at chili's after the service. i also dreamed about going to the triplet's house after that.

i couldn't wait to see matt. chris and nick top of course, but i especially couldn't wait to see matt. but isn't that to be expected?

when church finally let out, me and my parents got in the car and headed to chili's. my serotonin was through the roof. there is no better feeling than going out to eat after church then going home and hanging out with the triplets. not to mention i was especially happy after the wonderful night i had with matt.

i over ate as usual and felt kind of sick when we got home.

i got changed into done comfortable clothes before heading over to the triplets.

"hey," chris was in the refrigerator when i came in.

"hey." i responded.

"where's nick and matt?" i asked casually, adding nick so it wasn't too obvious i was obsessed with matt.

"uh, nicks practicing tae kwon do, don't ask, and matt's on facetime with his GiRlY friend." chris laughed but i did not find it funny whatsoever.

i fake smiled, "fun." before chris could talk to me anymore, i stood up, "well, i'm going to go learn karate with nick."

"okay." chris chirped through a mouth full of a moon pie.

but was i really that interesting in learning self defense with nick? uh, no. i not so nonchalantly passed by matt's room and peaked through the crack in his door.

he was on facetime with someone and i couldn't hear anything because matt had his air pods in.

i waited a little while longer, waiting to at least hear him say something but he never did. one ended conversations are red flags i thought to myself before sashaying passed his door and to nicks room.

i was almost knocked out as i opened nick's door as his leg went flying right in front of my face.

he ignored me and continued following along with his "how to: jujitsu" youtube video. so it wasn't taekwondo.

i laid on his bed and watched as he kicked and chopped and made weird noises. i watched until my eyelids got heavy and i fell asleep.

i didn't wake up until about three o'clock to complete silence, opposite of when i had went to sleep. i get up and go see where everyone is. before i make to the door however, all three triplets file in one after the other.

"rise and shine," nick sings in his best kylie jenner voice. "we were just about to wake you up." chris commented. "never wake me up from naps. or ever in general." i warn him.

"why do you sleep so much?" matt sighs as he lays down on the floor, gazing up at the ceiling.

"i don't know," i respond, "why do you avoid eye contact so much?" it escaped my mouth before i could even think about it.

matt just glanced at me then huffed, "because, i don't like it. makes me nervous."

"or does y/n just make you nervous." chris jokes.

"shut up, chris." nick rolls his eyes and matt sits up to hit chris a couple times.

"i was joking! god!" chris defends himself.

"just don't say that shit chris. especially after what just happened." nick says.

"what happened?" i asked curiously.

matt looked at me for a split second with an unreadable expression.

i waited for a response until nick finally spoke up.

"him and netty broke up."