BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2016

Chapter 1- This Pain is Love

*Same chapter as last one of 2015 story

December 31st, 2015:

I was now at a police station with Yoona and a female police officer, going through all the footage the camera had picked up. I subconsciously punched myself for putting ARMY's gifts pride of place, above all my pillows with a great view of practically my entire apartment. It could even see inside part of the bathroom if I didn't close the door. Its unobstructed view lasted for the first 3 days, then on the 4th and 5th its view was mostly hidden by other fans' stuffies, then on the remaining 5 days, it mostly just had a view of my desk though that was also the space I most often changed in.

It was strange watching these videos with a random policewoman I had just met. I had changed in front of Yoona before, but it was still uncomfortable to watch it even with her given this was me thinking I wasn't being watched in the comfort of my own home.

"The video is quite grainy," the policewoman says as we ran through all 10 days (only really looking at the mornings and nights given I was never home during the day at 3x speed), "you can barely even tell it's you".

"It doesn't even matter if you can really tell, someone says it's me and it will spread," I cry, feeling so violated, "and even if people say it's not me, I know it's me and that people have seen me... seen me without my consent".

"We're trying to track the camera to a shop and then hopefully to a buyer. We're also looking to track to where it transmitted to, but it will take time," the policewoman responds, looking at me with pity.

"Thank you for all your hard work," Yoona says to the officer, "let us know of any developments".

Yoona took my arm and carefully got me up from my chair to head back to Big Hit.

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The boys had come to Big Hit and were all very concerned about me. I didn't talk much, just "I'm fine" and "I want to be alone right now". However, Yoongi had finally convinced me to do something other than cry and stare off in the distance thinking depressing thoughts on the couch by getting me to work with him on some songs. I compiled a couple of songs I had choruses and an outro for and added my outpouring of emotions while Yoongi worked on some potential songs for our next comeback that were due to be submitted to the producers by the mid-January.

---- Let's Hurt Tonight (Edited from original by One Republic) ----

[Verse 1]
When, when I came home
Worn to the bones
I told myself, "this could get rough"
And when, when I was off, which happened a lot
You came to me and said, "that's enough"

[Pre-Chorus 1]
Oh, I know that this pain is love
But we can't cut it from out these veins, no

[Chorus 1]
So I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors
We ain't leaving this room 'til we both feel more
Don't walk away, don't roll your eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight
Ah-ooh-ooh, ah-ooh-ooh

[Verse 2]
When, when I came home
Worn to the bones
I told myself, "this could get rough"

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Oh, I know I'm feeling insane
Tell me something that you can explain, oh

[Chorus 2]
I'll hit the lights and you lock the doors
Tell me all of the things that you couldn't before
Don't walk away, don't roll your eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight
If this pain is love, well darling, let's hurt, oh tonight
Ah-ooh-ooh, ah-ooh-ooh

[Outro]
So you hit the lights and I'll lock the doors
Let's say all of the things that we couldn't before
I won't walk away, won't roll my eyes
They say love is pain, well darling, let's hurt tonight
If this pain is love, then honey let's love tonight