Forever & Always

22. It all comes out eventually

Leah's pov
The next day I woke up to an empty bed, this is becoming a regular occurrence and I don't like it.
I ignore it and get up before going downstairs.
I walk into the kitchen and see Keira sitting at the table on her phone and kara is eating her breakfast.
"Morning" I say as I kiss the top of kara head.
"Oh good your up, can you watch her for a while I have to go" Keira says in a rush
"Yeah sure where are you going"
"Oh ah, just to Steph's" she says and I have a feeling she's lying. "Ok bye" she says as she walks out the door. What the fuck is going on, this is all that going through my head right now, we had a problem and we fixed it and now it's just like she doesn't want to be around me anymore, we go to bed at different times, she always get up before me, we don't sit at the table to eat dinner together and she's always on her phone. I decide to put it to the back of my head and focus on Kara.

Keira's pov
I physically can't sit in they house and look at her for much longer because I know I'm hurting her so I get in my car and drive to Steph's. I nock on the door and she opens it. "Hiya kei you ok"
"Not really" I say as tears brim my eyes
"Come in" she says as she opens the door and I walk in to the living room and sit on the sofa and she follows. "What's wrong" she asks concerned
"I've just had a lot on my plate"
"Yeah I know kei the whole Adam situation and all but I though yous resolved that"
"We did Steph but that's not all"
"What do you mean" she asks clearly confused
"It's Lucy, she's been messaging me"
"WHAT" Steph shouts
"What has she said to you Keira" she asks angrily
"It's nothing bad Steph relax, she wants to meet up to talk"
"No fucking way Keira I'm not letting that happen"
"I've already agreed" I say looking at the ground
"WHAT, are you out of your fucking mind Keira after everything that she put you through you want to talk to her"
"Yeah Steph I do" I say getting up because I'm a bit angry.
"Seriously Keira, after everything that happened and all the people that stuck their neck out for you and your just going to go running back to her like a lost puppy"
"It's not like that Steph" I say frustrated
"So explain it to me then Keira"
"We've been talking for months and she's apologised and she wants to meet up for a coffee and chat because she's coming back to England camps"
"Oh for fuck sake Keira are you hearing yourself, it's typical Lucy, she ruined your fucking life Keira and now she thinks she can just apologise and everything will be fine. The only reason she's doing this kei is because she knows no one at England will like her because of what's she's done to you and she wants a friend at camp and she thinks your and easy target"
"I'm not a fucking easy target Steph" I say angrily
" I know that Keira but she thinks you are"
There's silence for a minute.
"What did Leah say" she asks and I just hang my head and stay silent and Steph now knows by my actions that I haven't told Leah.
"For fuck sake Keira" she says and she sighs. She comes over and sits next to and puts her arms around me and I fall apart.
"I can't drag her down Steph"
"you won't be dragging her down Keira, but if you don't tell her and keep acting the way your acting then that will drag her down"
"How am I supposed to tell her, I'm terrified of losing her" I say in between sobs.
We stay silent for a few minutes.
"What we're you thinking Keira, like you have everything you've dreamed of, a nice house, a nice car, a family and a girlfriend that treats you and your kid like queens" I stay silent for a minute and let it sink in and I nod.
"I'm gonna go home and talk to her" I say as I get up and walk to the door. I turn around and hug Steph.
"Thank you"
"Ok keep me updated"
"I will" I say as I get in my car and drive home.
I pull in to the drive and get out of the car, I walk in and I see Leah come walking towards me from the kitchen. She look worried sick.
"Where have you been" she asks softly
"At Steph's"
"Are you ok"
"No, I need to speak to you"
"Ok" she says with a scared look
"Where's Kara"
"She's gone for a nap, is this serious Keira"
"Come on" I say as I walk into the living room and she follows me. I sit on the sofa and she sits next to me but there's space between us.
"What is it kei" she asks softly
"I'm sorry" I say as I keep looking at the ground
"Keira stop avoiding it and tell me what's going on"
"It's Lucy"
"What about her"
"I've been messaging her"
"What do you mean messaging her"
"We've been texting each other for a few months just talking  and she want to meet for coffee" I blurt out. There's silence for a few minutes until she says
"Your being serious aren't you" I can hear the hurt in her voice and I just nod. She just shakes her head and walks over to the window and leans her hand on it and looks out. I don't even know what to say but I want to try and ease the tension.
"Leah it's not serious I promise it's just about her coming back to England camp"
"The topic of the conversation is fucking irrelevant Keira because regardless of that, you've been talking to your fucking ex girlfriend for months and hiding it from me" she says angrily and clearly very hurt
"I'm really sorry Lee, can we just, I don't know, talk about it"
"What the fuck do you think we're doing Keira"
"Sorry" I say looking at the ground
"You know Keira I was worried sick the last few days, I thought there was something seriously wrong with you and you were hiding it from me to stop me worrying." There's a pause for a second
"We don't even speak anymore Keira, talking used to come so easy for us, but now we go to bed at different time and get up a different time, we don't eat together, we barely talk, your always on your phone and whenever I try and confront you about it you just try and bring me back with a kiss, and up until now it's worked" there's another pause.
"Why can't you just be open and talk to me, I ask how you feel and then you just get up and leave, do you even know what you do to me, I'm going out of my mind with every secret that your keeping, why won't you let me in, but it's useless because yet again you think you can pull me back with a kiss, you were the one that said this time round you wanted to do this properly, we would talk and communicate and your the one that doesn't do any of that"
"I've had to make up excuses to tell people why we're avoiding each other"
"Who have you told" I ask curios
"Demi, she asked why we don't talk as much and I've told her we're both just exhausted" there's a pause for another minute
"And I could blame myself like usual but this is your fault Keira, your fucking killing me here, it shouldn't be this hard to hold on" she says clearly very hurt
"It's gotten to the point where it's so hard to be around you but I fucking hate it when your gone, so can you just fucking tell me what's going wrong"
"I don't know" I say quietly not looking at her.
"I can't do this anymore, you keep hiding things and then when I confront you about it we argue and I tell you how I fell but you don't say anything to me" she says angrily as she walk out of the room and up the stairs, she come back down a few minutes later with a bag. "Where are you going" I ask her
"I don't know but as far away from here as possible, it's clear that you don't want me here but there was easier ways for saying it" she jibes as she walks out the front door and slams it.