Rite of Submission - Rite 1

51: Chains That Bind

                It felt like I was yanked under water and held there until my lungs were burning to take in a new breath. I didn't know this place, some strange black void that echoed the sound of my own breath back to me.

'You shouldn't be here!'

I could feel my entire body start to shake as my eyes focused on the black wolf and the man beside him. "Fuck You!" I shouted, making his head snap up to look at me. The wolf beside him sighed heavily. I'd been fully awake and still somehow ended up being pulled into a dream with him.

"How are you here?" Dmitri genuinely looked confused, "I left clear orders to make sure I was informed of your activities, including sleep." His demeanor had shifted to anger all too quickly.

"Fuck! You!" I repeated louder, "Fuck you and your orders! You don't get to run away from me like a fucking coward and then try to dictate to me what I can or can not do anymore!" His wolf seemed to smile as I confronted his human half.

He took a few aggressive steps towards me, stopping short of being able to reach me. "You don't belong here."

I laughed, the sound echoing eerily around us. "I'm pretty sure that even as tired as I've been, it wasn't my exhaustion that dragged me here," I accused. "This is becoming a pattern for you: Yanking me around against my will, and then trying to cast me aside when it no longer suits you to have me there. Constantly running like a frightened child anytime something doesn't go according the grand plan of Dmitri fucking Volkov!"

"Do you really think any of this was part of my plans? That you were part of my plans?"

"Which me do you mean? Alexandria Lykos, the girl you claimed to love and were promised would play house with you and give you the heir you need to continue your fucked up family line. Or Selene D'Arcadia, almost the same girl, just not contractually obligated to deal with your bullshit?" I took a few aggressive steps of my own, forcing him to step back. "Come on; tell me which one of me wasn't part of the plan."

"You don't even know who you are," he shot back.

"And thank you so much for being so loving and supportive while I try to figure that out," the words didn't come out as sarcastically as I wanted them too. "No, wait, that wasn't you, it was everyone else except you."

'You don't understand...'

"You shut up!" they both looked stunned, but neither said a word. "I'm sick of your bull shit too. You're always acting like you know everything, but you don't tell either of us anything. You promised to never lie to me, and that you wouldn't leave me, but where the fuck have you been the last few days? You won't even talk to me, you won't see me, and you don't even ask me what I want. But as soon as you work yourself into a stupor you yank on the chain that binds us and then have the audacity to tell me to leave! I didn't ask to come here."

"I hate the fact that I still care about you and I don't know if the feelings I feel are yours or mine. Tell me how to get my mark off your damn hand. Do you have to reject me? Stop being a fucking coward and do it already."

"I can't," he fell to his knees.

I resisted the urge to reach out for him; holding tight to the anger I felt. "Either let me leave or give me a reason to stay, but you don't get to hold me in limbo indefinitely. And you sure as hell do not have the right to yank me around like you own me, mentally or physically," I turn and started to walk away.

I didn't know if there was a way for me to leave these dreams on my own, but I didn't have to stand and listen to either of them. I stopped and looked back over my shoulder, "You don't have to work yourself to death, let your Beta help you like he's supposed too. And stop pushing your sister away while you're at it. She doesn't deserve to be punished because you don't have the balls to face her."

I found myself surrounded by people as I opened my eyes. Nathan was arguing with Dr Martinez, "I don't care if you think it's too soon to tell, run the damn test now. I'm telling you that something isn't right."

"And fuck you too!" I groaned, holding my throbbing head between my hands. It was quickly becoming my new favorite phrase for all of the people that annoyed me the most.

"Do you feel nauseous? Are you dizzy? Have you been getting enough water?" the onslaught of questions from the Dr was making my head pound worse.

"Stop," I held up a hand, "first," I looked at Nathan, "I'm not fucking pregnant and I haven't been rejected by anyone. Second," I looked at the Dr, "I just need some water and an aspirin please. More importantly," I looked up at Sophie, "You're brother is a fucking asshole, and in his room if you want to go yell at him." They all stared at me shocked, but I looked at Sophie, "I don't think he'll be there much longer, so if you want to catch him..." she darted out the doors and stormed across the hall.

"How could you possible know that..."

I cut him off, "That I'm not pregnant, or where Dmitri is?" He folded his arms over his chest and stared at me expectantly. "Fine," I took a deep breath, "I know I'm not pregnant because I can do basic math. And you already know how I know where that insufferable prick is, because you were there when it happened and it wasn't as intimate a process as you made it out to be. And," I turned to the Dr, "he lied to you about it. Now, can someone get me a fucking aspirin before you two go off and compare notes?"

Nathan brought me a glass of water from the table, while she fished through her bag to produce the medicine I asked for. I swallowed the pills and the water. Ignoring the way they stared at me, I let myself fall back onto the pillows and pulled another over my eyes, to nurse my migraine away in the dark. "You don't have to stand there and watch me," I groaned, "I'll still be here when you finally figure it out." I listened to them shuffle out of the room together and close the door. "Alone at last," I sighed, stretching out to try and enjoy the peace and quiet.