Between the Trees

Dream

Reid POV

I made it so much worse by going to see her again. The second she saw me and lit up like that, fuck. I knew I had to get out of there before I did something I would regret.
As if I could regret anything with her.
I haven't slept since she left. My nightmares came back instantly, and I've tried everything to keep myself busy.
Yet still nothing can take my mind off of her.
I had paced around my room for hours yesterday, debating if I was really going to try and find her. I couldn't stay away.
I didn't even want to eat, because I hated making myself food without her sitting on the counter watching.
Last week I would have fucking punched myself for getting so hung up on a girl, letting it affect me like this.
I had found her address and stood outside her apartment, too scared to knock on the door.
I knew this was only feeding an addiction, seeing her.
When she wrapped her body around me, I couldn't take it. I was seconds away from locking us in her apartment to spend another four days together, not leaving her bed.
I knew that she couldn't live my life though, and as much as I needed her I could never force her away from everything.
So when I had a second to escape, I had to.
It fought every urge in my body to walk away, and I could imagine the look on her face when she returned.
But that was better than giving in, and never being able to give her up. No matter what she wanted.

I sped back to my cabin, deciding it was best to seclude myself. She was so perfect, and I knew that she would only be ruined by me.
I still thought about her. Every memory over those days.
Fuck, I even got one of those stupid romance books she complained I didn't have. What the hell have I become.
This is why I can't go out and meet new people. I get attached and then they need to leave.
It would happen when I was deployed. I had gotten to know people like brothers, and I got a sense of family I had lost.
But then I went home, and they did not.
I decided to live out here so I would never go through that again but here we are.
Mila felt like a home to me, warm and comforting. Someone who accepted me exactly how I was. I liked how she didn't look scared when she was near me. In fact she would gravitate towards me.
So here I am again, loosing my mind over a person I should have never had a chance to meet.

The sky got dark, and I looked out the window up at the stars, something I never cared to notice before.
I laid in bed for another sleepless night, imagining that my girl would just walk through the bedroom door and sprawl out over my body. I missed falling asleep to her soft breathing against me.
I hear thunder rumble in the background, immediately wishing I could hold her so she wouldn't be scared.
There was a deep need inside me to be with her. So that I could protect her and make her feel safe. It hurt to imagine how she is right now, maybe trembling at each noise as she's alone in her apartment.
Come on, she's probably just fine without you. Sleeping away in her room where she belongs.
The possessive part of me hates that she's ok, that she doesn't need me anymore.

The rain hits against my window, and the crashes of thunder and lightning echo around the house.
My nails dig into my palms as I worry about her. I called her Bambi, making fun of how scared she looked that night I found her. Though honestly, I would do fucking anything to make sure she would never feel that way again.
I keep reaching for her beside me even though I know she's not there.
I feel like I can still her voice in my head, calling out my name.
I groan in frustration, burying my head in my pillow as her sweet voice echos my name over and over. Getting up, I start pacing around the place.
I'm actually going fucking crazy now. I can't stop hearing her voice.
I lean against the kitchen counter, hearing her get louder.
I turn to the window, looking out into the darkness and pouring rain.
I hear her calling me again, and I shake my head.
I can't believe I'm about to fucking do this.

I have to check. I can't her her crying out my name like that and not. The rational side of me knows I chasing a voice in my head but that can't stop me from walking out the door.
So now I wandering around the forest, barefoot with no shirt on as rain pours down on me.
I frantically try and track her voice, not even caring to make sure I don't get lost out here.
"Reid!"
It's so close now.
I search the empty forest around me, with nobody in sight.
I turn around, seeing her searching through the trees.
I'm hallucinating now. Perfect.
That doesn't stop me from going to her, approaching slowly as if she might vanish any second.
She turns to face me, not wasting a moment before running to me.
She throws herself into my arms and I'm still stunned how real this feels.
"What are you doing-"
She grabs my face in her hand, crashing our lips together. It takes me a second to process, knowing this feels too perfect to be my imagination.
I kiss her back with just as much force, pouring all of me into the kiss. I hold her against me so tight, just fucking grateful I'm holding her again.

"I couldn't sleep without you. It wasn't your fucking shirts I needed. I needed you Reid" she tells me
I look over her, trying to see if she's hurt. Once I feel like I've checked her for any harm, I quickly take us back to the cabin.
I kiss her all over on the way back. Each time still shocked that this isn't a dream.