Part 8

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James walked into his room exhausted. Severus insisted on carrying him around for a solid 10 minutes and in the end his hands were so cold he could barely move them.

" Dumbass." James thought to himself and remembered how Severus kept on insisting it was okay.

He collapsed onto his bed and laid in a starfish. The ceiling was full of floating candles, the actual roof magicked to look like the night sky.

Dumbledore thought it could be a good cheering up tool.

But even while staring into the various constellations, James felt tired. It wasn't long until his thoughts turned sour like it always did.

Painful memories and thoughts flooded his mind all at once.

It's fine. You're fine.

He remembered himself and brought his hand up to massage his neck. He felt the scar tissue and he was sick to his stomach.

He ran into his bathroom and barely made it to the toilet bowl before puking. He felt disgusting. His body was covered in scars, how could he live like this?

Sure there were potions but it was only for new, light scarring. It'd do nothing for James.

" I'm fine. I'm safe." He reminded himself and went back to bed.

He stayed awake for about 40 more minutes before falling asleep to the crackling of the fire.

He fell asleep with his head going a mile a minute. He knew he wouldn't sleep well tonight.

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" Potter! Lupin! Dear god what did he do to you?" Albus' voice was heard and James' barely beating heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

Someone was here.

" Potter? potter are you alive? Darling are you okay?" A familiar maternal voice said and he felt his head be hoisted onto a lap.

A sharp gasp was heard when she slightly turned James over.

" Albus! Quick! Lupin he...he-" she choked up and looked away.

James didn't even have the energy to jump when he heard another growl by his ear. Lupin had collapsed behind him and was starting to wake up.

Dumbledore mustn't have noticed because Lupin attacked again, this time on his leg and held onto it like a life line.

The scream that ripped it's way out of his damaged airways was deadly. It was a horrible, painful scream and he felt the tears fall.

" Stupefy!" McGonagal sent the spell and the young werewolf went blasting into a nearby tree.

" How could you do this? We trusted you enough to control yourself, how could you?!" McGonagal yelled.

She conjured up a blanket and a healing bubble around James. It was brief but the pain of feeling his flesh stitch itself back together will haunt him forever.

" Albus i never want to see that boy again."

" Minerva-"

" never."

James woke up hyperventilating. There wasn't enough air in the room and he was too exhausted to open his window.

Panic flooded him and he held onto his chest, his heart beating so fast you could feel it through his sternum.

The first thing that came to mind was i need to breathe. Then pills.

He swears he doesn't remember pulling his wand out of his side table. He was so delusional and he felt like his lungs had collapsed.

He pulled out his wand and managed to whisper the spell. How he remembered he doesn't know.

" Call Severus." He said to the non corporeal fog that used to be his Patronus.

It floated away and through the door, leaving James in complete darkness. He saw there was a tiny ray of moonlight peaking through the curtains but that was it.

He waited there in agony, crying and hiccuping. He tried to breathe but every time his breath got caught in his lungs.

It hurt. God it hurt. He's never felt so suffocated before.

He fumbled for his pills but ended up spilling them, a few dropping down to the first floor and his frustration hit an all time high.

He threw the bottle across the room and cried out. The room was sound proof, nobody would know.

Nobody would know how horrible it felt, nobody would know he's suffering.

He wished he was home, safe in the confines of Potter Manor. His mother brought him breakfast and wouldn't leave until he ate it all. His father sat and read with him. He didn't need to say anything to comfort James, just be there.

He held him when he woke up in a sweat, much like this night. His mother doted on him until he was sane enough to tell her to sleep.

He wished he was home.

" James?!" Severus' voice boomed through the door.

There was banging on it but James was too shaken to move. He couldn't get up to open the door, he was still gasping for air.

He heard the door click open and Severus burst through in his pajamas and a lit wand in his hand.

" James are you ok?" He asked and climbed up the ladder.

When he saw Potter's state he slid down to his side and wrapped his arms around him.

" I've got you. It's fine, i've got you."

James laid his head to his chest for the third time. And for the third time he felt a little better.

" Severus i just got your patronus, what's going on-?" Lily burst through and James felt his muscles relax.

He was still holding onto Severus, the other's arms placed protectively over his head and neck.

" James?"

" Can you get him water?" Severus asked and Lily nodded.

She climbed the ladder with a bottle of water and gave it to Severus.

" This was on the floor." She handed Severus a pill container and lit the candles on the ceiling.

" James? Is this what these blue pills are?" He asked and held the container to his face.

James nodded, panting and breathing heavily.

" Lily get two of them."

Lily handed him two blue pills and Severus held it to James.

" Take it."

And james did. He also drank the water Severus gave him and continued to keep himself close to Severus. He felt the tranquilizers take place a few minutes later and he had passed out before he knew it.

In the end Severus and Lily stayed with him till he slept. Lily wiped his head and neck of sweat and made sure he was warm while Severus sat by him holding his hand.

It was a silent agreement they'd spend the night.

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