Part 21

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He just misses him

He just wishes he would look at him the same. James yearns for the days they spent hours together in silence, in each other's arms. James doesn't have the luxury to freely miss him, because you cannot miss what wasn't yours.

He has no right to miss and sorrow for Severus because they weren't anything. He was once his enemy but every horrid day his feelings grew.

He thought he was dreaming, he was just overthinking. He couldn't handle the thought of Severus pulling away so he worsened it in his head. He thought...

But as it turns out, he wasn't playing tricks on himself. Severus didn't pull away, he still saw him every day. They still ate together, slept in the same bed most nights and Severus even read to him like he used to.

But they didn't touch. When they slept they were apart and James was utterly cold. He wished the warm body next to him would inch just a little closer but it never did, and neither did he.

James smiled, besides himself every minute he spent with Severus but the other didn't. He was emotionless next to him, almost silent.

He laughed here and there but as much as James enjoyed his company it looked like Severus grew uncomfortable. It was puzzling...and hurtful.

Incredibly hurtful.

" Regulus is asking for you." Severus mentioned one night, by the fire.

Lily wasn't there anymore, she didn't need to be. She was on the other side of the castle in her own room, Severus reading on the armchair as James lounged around.

" If he wants to see me he can talk to me himself." James said, low and lazy as an arm was thrown across his face.

" At least talk to him."

" I did."

" Calling him pretty boy and making him freak out isn't talking."

James twisted his body so he faced his friend. Friend.

" He told you?'

" Of course not. Barty did."

James laid back down with a huff and covered his face again.

" I don't like Barty."

" Why?"

" Do i need a reason?"

" You don't hate many people, i assume you have one." Severus put his book down and faced James.

" It's not hate. I dont like many people, Barty, the Carrows, Mulciber, Vanity."

" Those are all my friends" Severus whispered and James shook his head.

" The Carrows are not your friends."

" Fine but the rest are."

James looked at Severus expecting anger or hurt. But he saw nothing. His face was bare of emotions, completely numb.

" I never said they were reasonable." James defended and Severus chuckled.

It was the first time in days Severus has laughed at something James has said.

" It's ridiculous and amusing how you just decide not to like people."

" I have valid reasons. Sometimes." James shrugged and Severus shook his head with laughter.

" Still amusing."

" Yeah yeah." James waved it off and severus went back to his book, an old one from the library that seemed terribly boring.

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