Unravel | Jeverus

Part 15

Christmas morning was a little unexpected. Fleamont walked in to see all three of them sleeping piled on each other, legs and arms thrown all over the place.

They woke up to his laughing, mostly at James who looked very comfortable being wedged between two bodies.

Christmas breakfast was just as extravagant as the dinner before, the presents piled to the ceiling.

James got a lot of clothes, presents sent from all his extended family filling his closet. They gave Lily a beautiful sweater, one she obsessed over and wore the entire day.

Severus got a potions kit and some ingredients from Fleamonts personal collection. He almost cried when he saw the cauldron filled to the brim with new equipment.

He saw how Euphemia smiled at her gift, a handwritten note from her husband making her blush. Fleamont kissed her cheek and temple, complimenting her for every article of clothing she wore.

Expensive jewelry and rare gems he thought would be perfect for her adorning her. The way Fleamont looked at her was a look he's never seen before, certainly not at home.

Severus found it endearing and utterly epiphanic.

He thinks its the first time he's seen a loving couple that wasn't just teens in their young world wind romance.

" I like how in love your parents are." Severus mentioned as they sat in the garden. They'd be leaving the next morning so Euphemia suggested they get some air.

" Me too." Lily nodded, her new book sitting in her lap already half way through.

" Really? They've always been like that." James said while throwing an orange in the air that was from their orchard. Oranges in December, who would've thought?

" Its cute. They've been married for so long but still compliment and cherish each other." Lily said with a smile.

" It's the bare minimum honestly." James shrugged and finally peeled the orange.

Severus smiled and nodded. It really was but Severus couldn't imagine a world where he could get that type of unconditional love. To him it felt impossible.

There was always something to achieve with love. Wether it was innocent or not, there was always a motive for showing someone affection and thats what scared him the most.

" Here." James handed them pieces of his fruit and they took it happily, chatting animatedly throughout the afternoon.

Christmas at Potter Manor was nice, unexpected but delightful. It was a taste of something he didn't think was possible and Severus didn't know if that was good or bad.

It was a nice experience but when he returns to reality he's afraid it would be world shattering.

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The train back to Hogwarts was boring. They saw James' friends, not Sirius but the rest.

Remus shied away from James and Peter barely looked in his direction, it made Severus' stomach churn.

He could only imagine how Remus felt when he saw his victim. Because thats what he was, a victim. It was horrific and nobody would ever see Remus the same if they knew.

He thinks it was the reason why James refuses to let anyone see him like that. Because no matter how much James despised Remus for doing that to him he still protected him from the public eye.

He couldn't let the golden boy be seen as a monster.

" Break went by so fast." Lily complained and leaned her head against the window, watching the scenery outside.

They found Pandora and Xeno on the train to sit with, the five of them sharing the compartment. James was already asleep on Severus' shoulder and Pandora was looking.

" You two really are cute." Pandora said and Lily nodded.

" Arent they? James is so comfortable with him."

" Wait I thought you were dating." Xeno said suddenly and Pandora shook her head.

" No darling. But they should right?"

" Definitely." Xeno said and Severus sighed.

" He's not into guys. And i dont want to ruin our friendship like that." Severus said and looked out the window as well, Pandora giving him a weird stare.

" Come on. You're so close, no way it'll be ruined."

" I dont want to take the chance." Severus said and looked down at James, praying he was really asleep.

He knew he was, his chest rose up and down steadily and his face was blissfully deep in sleep but he was still anxious.

" I dont deserve him. I'm too damaged." Severus admitted.

The carriage went quiet, making Severus feel bad for unloading on them suddenly.

" Dont say that. Anyone would be lucky." Lily said and rubbed his shoulder.

" Thanks but i dont think so. He's trying hard to heal I can't put the responsibility of my own issues on him."

" You won't."

" I say i wont but in the long run there'll be a conversation where i have to. He doesn't need to know."

Lily looked at him with pity, so did Xeno but Pandora gave him a look of adoration.

" Why?" She asked and Lily looked at her from the side.

" Because i want to be strong for him. I want him to come to me with anything and be able to be there for him. If he knows what's going on in my head he'll hesitate and stop asking for help when he needs it." Severus swept a piece of hair out of James' face and Pandora hummed.

" It's why your perfect for him. There wont be anyone who protects him like you do."

Severus pursed his lips and leaned his head back.

" Which is why i wont fuck up by trying to push a relationship. He'll pull away and lose a support system, i dont want his life to be harder."

Severus meant everything he said. He felt the whole world for James but if there's even the slightest chance James could get hurt he wont make that mistake.

He wont let himself be the reason why James struggles.