Part 18

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Severus hated this.

He loved the ecstasy, the dizziness, the break he got from his own mind. But he hated it all at the same time.

" Come on, share a little." Mulciber said and grabbed the bottle from his hand.

It was already 3/4ths of the way gone, most of it in Severus' stomach swirling into a disgusting blue mixture. Mulciber looked quite content doing just about every school prohibited act in their little bathroom.

But Severus wasn't. Because Severus is never happy, notoriously so.

" I'm nauseous." Severus said with little warning but Mulciber acted quick.

" Shit you're gonna puke. Come here." He grabbed Severus just as his hand flew up and his head landed in the toilet.

He vomited a cartoonish green liquid, watery and utterly disgusting. Mulciber held his hair back and when Severus suddenly stopped he pulled his face up to inspect.

" Are you still nauseous?" He asked and Severus nodded.

" Puke more."

" I can't."

" Yes you can."

Severus shook his head and Mulciber closed his eyes. He pulled his head back and brought his free hand up to his chin.

" Open your mouth."

Severus was too tired to complain so he did, feeling Mulciber's long fingers on his tongue until it hit the back of his throat. As soon as it did he lurched forward, Mulciber cursing.

" Shit."

Severus brought his hand back so it clutched where Mulciber's hand was.

" Again." Severus breathed out and wordlessly Mulciber did as he was told.

His joints rest on his tongue, pressing down on the very start of it until Severus felt the familiar motions of gagging.

It seemed to flow out of him with a burning sensation. It was hard to look at and eventually he stopped, leaning back against the wall with a sigh.

Mulciber flushed and got up to wash his hands, bringing a towel to wipe Severus' face.

" Are you ok?" He asked and Severus nodded.

" Almost sounds like you care."

Mulciber laughed and handed the towel to him.

" I'm slipping." He said and sat beside him.

His chest heaved and the moment of ecstasy was gone. It was tiredness and an unexplainable urge of compulsion that took over.

He turned his head, watching the guy who just had his fingers down his throat finish the rest of the vodka so he doesn't. Because lord knows Severus will.

He held his hair back, massaged his neck and wiped his face off. He made sure Severus didn't vomit on himself and offered to do what many others would find disgusting.

In a way, Mulciber was the one person who truly knew him.

" Have you ever kissed a guy?" Severus asked and Mulciber paused.

He shook his head while capping the bottle and setting it on the floor next to him.

" The person i love is a guy, but I've never kissed a guy before."

" Have you ever kissed a girl?" Mulciber asked and Severus shook his head.

He shielded his wand by his hand while lighting his cigarette and took a long drag in. The smell of tobacco made him nauseous again but he needed the burn.

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