Nerd Alert • Hate What I Want

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It was now night time and I had one meal. The boys had been switching in and out to be with me since I couldn't be left alone. Except Corbyn. I haven't seen him since he left the room. I really wanted to talk to him too. Right now Daniel is in the room. He sang me to different songs and tried to make me laugh which worked but only cause his jokes are lame. Just then Corbyn came into the room.

Corbyn: Hey uh...can I talk to y/n?

Daniel: Yea sure. You gonna be ok?

I nodded at Daniel and with that he left, leaving me and Corbyn in the room. He came to the bed and sat next to me.

Corbyn: Hey how you feeling?

I shrugged in response.

Corbyn: Still not talking?

I shook my head no.

Corbyn: That's ok. Uhm...I'm sorry about earlier I just...listen the truth is..I...I never stopped loving you. I just thought...I mean you moved out and everything so I thought you really moved on. I don't know...but..I love you y/n..and I guess that's all I wanted to say..

We sat in silence for a bit until he got up and made his way to the door. I heard thunder outside and it scared me even more than I already was.

You: Corbyn..

Corbyn: Yea?

He turned to look at me.

You: W..will you s..stay with me?

Corbyn: Yea of course

He came to me and laid next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close and tight. I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Soon he started singing to me. "All those days chasing down a daydream. All those years living in a blur. All that time never truly seeing things, the way they were. Now she's here shining in the starlight." He booped my nose with his finger as he sang that line. "Now she's here suddenly I know if she's here it's crystal clear. I'm where I'm meant to go." For the last part I sang with him of course. I mean it's Tangled how could I not sing along? "And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted. And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new. And it's warm and real and bright. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once everything is different now that I see you...now that I see you." By the end of the song we were making eye contact. I wanted to kiss him. I went for it. But he stopped me.

Corbyn: Maybe..we shouldn't..

You: Oh..uhm..I..I'm sorry I-.. I'm really sorry

Corbyn: No stop apologizing don't say sorry. Hey I..I just..

You: No it's fine you don't have to explain yourself I understand. Uhm I'm gonna get some sleep.

I got off his chest and turned my body away from him. I felt so stupid for thinking he wanted to kiss. I just embarrassed myself. Now he's gonna go running telling all his friends and I'm gonna be seen as a stupid little girl who thinks he wanted to kiss her. That rejection actually hurt my feelings. I tear up thinking about it.

Corbyn: I...I love you..

How do I respond to that now? You love me but you don't want to kiss me. I understand that he has his reasons but..if he doesn't want to kiss well then he shouldn't lead me on. I shouldn't be thinking this much about it. I'm just his best friends annoying little sister anyways.

*Corbyn's POV*

The next morning I woke up holding y/n in my arms. I wanted to kiss her. I really did but I didn't want her to think I was taking advantage of her especially after what just happened. Plus I care about her and I love her so much. To the point that love isn't a word to me. What I feel for y/n is more than just love. It's a feeling I never want to end. For now, all I can do is hold her and never let go. She was asleep in my arms while I played with her hair. I gave her kisses on her head cause I remember her telling me one time that's her favorite way to wake up. She was still in my hoodie which she looked adorable in. Her body is so tiny that it fits her like a night gown. How can someone be so beautiful?

*End of Corbyn's POV*

I woke up to Corbyn giving me head kisses. I looked up at him and smiled a bit.

Corbyn: Hey..how'd you sleep?

You: I slept ok

Corbyn: Are you hungry?

You: Just a little bit

Corbyn: Come on I'll make you pancakes. Your favorite

He got up and I reached for him.

Corbyn: Oh no no no I am not gonna carry you

You: Pleaseeeeee?

Corbyn: Fine but only because you're cute and beautiful

I blushed as he picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his torso, my legs around his waist and laid my head on his shoulder. He took me to the kitchen and set me on the counter as he started to cook. I watched him the whole time. He was so focused and he made this face. Like he was licking his lips but biting his tongue at the same time. I hated that I wanted him. But he's with Lera. Why would he tell me he loves me if he's still with Lera?

You: Corbyn..

Corbyn: Yea?

You: Are you and Lera still together?..

Corbyn: Uhm..well I-

Jonah: Good morning people!

Daniel: Ayo!

Jonah: Whatcha cooking Corbs?

Corbyn: Uh just some eggs and sausage

Jonah: Oooh for me?

Corbyn: For everyone

The boys went on with the conversation and my question still remains up in thin air. I get down from the counter and slowly walked to the couch. I laid down and rested my head on Zach's lap.

Zach: Well if it isn't the gorgeous rapunzal

You: Please I'm nothing compared to that stunning queen

Zach: Hey you're beautiful alright. What's got you in a mood?

You: I don't know..

Zach: Come on talk to Zachy poo

He said that in a baby voice which caused me to giggle. He let out a chuckle as he stroked my hair.

You: Being here with all you guys is bringing back old memories

Zach: Old memories as in..Corbyn?

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