Days of Revelations (Night of Secrets #2)

Chapter 16 - An Apprehensive Feeling

Adeline

I stare at all the pictures of my friends I have on my desk as Mom does my hair. I already took a shower and put the dress on. After Mom curls the top of my hair and pins it up at the crown of my head, she just has to do my makeup and I'll be done. It's not that I can't do my own hair and makeup. It's that it requires looking in the mirror, and I still want to avoid that as much as possible. And Mom seemed thrilled when I asked her to help me since I haven't done that in a while. So it makes two people happy.

"Are you excited?" she asks.

"Yeah," I say. "I am. But I also just want to go to bed."

Mom laughs. "You know, I don't think you ever really liked Homecoming."

It's hard to look forward to something when you're with people that make you feel worthless. "I guess that was before I started dating Jax."

I hear the smile in Mom's voice as she says, "So this year is good because of Jax."

No, it's not especially good, but Jax does make it better. "Something like that."

"Do you think this Homecoming will be better than the last three?" After a pause, she adds in a carefully neutral voice, "Now that you're with Jax, Santos, Aart, and Ty? And not Dean, Faye, and Cyril?"

I keep my voice neutral, too. "Probably. I click better with them than I ever did with Dean, Faye, and Cyril, so it should be more fun."

Mom hums her agreement, pinning up the last of the curls in my hair. I turn in the chair, and she starts on my makeup, focusing on my eyes. "I'm glad you're gonna have fun this year." Something flashes across her face, and she carefully adds, "And I'm glad you're with people that don't... say inappropriate things... to you."

That's about as close as she's gotten to addressing whatever Jax's parents told her and Dad about Dean. I still haven't brought it up with my parents because there's not really anything to talk about. It'll just worry them, and I don't want to do that when it's my problem and not even that big of a deal.

"Yeah, me too," I say just as carefully. "It's more fun with Jax and the guys anyway."

Mom nods, smiling. "Are you planning to do anything after the dance?"

"Maybe go to the diner." And drink more smoothies and gain more calories. "Other than that, I'm not sure."

Mom nods. "And... are you and Jax planning on doing anything together?"

I try not to narrow my eyes. "Like what?"

Mom gives me an amused look. "Do you really want me to say it?"

I laugh, feeling the heat rise to my face. "No. Not really. But no, we're not sleeping together. And we didn't plan on it tonight."

"But if you were to—?"

"Protection and consent."

Mom nods her approval, setting all the makeup aside. "Good."

She says that like she thinks I've never thought about it before. But it's one of the main things I think about when I'm bored and not having a Panic Moment. How could I not when Jax is... Jax?

I shake the thoughts from my head before Mom can read them on my face and slide my black ankle boots on. When I stand, Mom smiles. Without warning, she steers me to my full-length mirror. I fight the urge to turn away or shut my eyes or cry or do all three. I look at myself head-on, swallowing whatever instinctive response I have.

I guess it's not horrible. Mom did a great job on my hair and makeup. Some stray curls frame my face. The eyeliner and mascara make the color of my eyes seem sharper like I'm more focused than I've been in a long time. But just because Mom knows how to make me look prettier doesn't mean I actually feel pretty. Especially in this dress. I still don't hate it, but I don't exactly love it.