My Rocket Ship: Nikki Sixx

Chapter 37: The Confession

"I blame the drinks" I say "my mind won't turn off."

"Mine either" he says looking down.

"What's on your mind?" I ask inhaling my half finished cigarette.

He shakes his head "I think you should tell me first."

"And why's that?" I ask.

"I've been patient" he says "but I wanna know who hurt you."

I laugh but it's not genuine "it's that obvious huh?"

"The more I've gotten to know you." He shrugs "come on tell me what happened."

I sigh and look down at my cigarette "I need another one of these first." I say putting out the butt.

"Here, take mine" he says shoving his already lit one in my mouth "I'm not drunk enough for one of those right now anyway."

"Thanks" I say breathing it in "this has become a habit, I'm trying to convince myself I only want them when I drink, but look at me now."

"I'm sure you'll ditch them when you get back home." He says.

I nod not wanting to answer his last question.

"At least tell me about him." He nudges my shoulder with his own.

I sigh "he's a very handsome man."

"A man huh?" Jonathan says catching my eyes "I'm gathering he's older then?"

"Oh yeah" I overly nod "very much so."

"How much so?" He asks now intrigued.

I look at him "maybe too much now that I think about it, but I didn't really notice it when we were together."

He shrugs "I've found things like that don't really matter."

"What do you know about age gaps in a relationship?" I ask.

"Not that specifically" he says "but relationships usually don't turn out to be what you think." He shrugs "you can't help who you fall in love with, what matters though is that you do."

"You really think love alone can keep people together?" I ask.

"I know as long as you have love, there's a fighting chance." He says "the rest is just communication and compromise."

"Easier said than done." I pick at the zipper on my jacket.

"So you still love him then?" He asks.

"I do" I nod "and I wish I didn't."

Jonathan shakes his head "like I said you can't control that" he sighs "but you can learn from it."

"How do you know so much about these things?" I ask him.

"I've gone through it." He laughs "possibly too young, but I don't apologize for who I love. You shouldn't be either Kaia."

"Easier said than done." I repeat.

"Come on, be happy" he nudges me again "tell me some good things about the relationship."

Thoughts come flooding my mind of Sunday's in bed with Nikki, the times at funny farm, and when he held me as I cried.

I smile "I didn't think anything was gonna happen when we first met" I shrug "I thought he was attractive and easy to talk to, but because of his age I thought that would be the extent of it."