Don't Say You Love Me

Chapter TWENTY ONE

Teegan

This is the coolest place I've ever seen.

  There's some pretty awesome beaches and spots in Seattle, since we're like an island, but this place is something else. It's like a special hidden spot no one knows about, except us, which makes it feel even more amazing. And Cohen said his dad brought him here when he was younger. It must be special to him. Did he plan to bring me here? Was it just a random idea?

   "It's like a pirate hideout," I say, without thinking.

   Cohen laughs but he's nodding. His dark hair is messy and all over the place. He runs a hand through it as he answers, and I notice the bruising on his eye is turning yellow. "It kind of is. Pirate Cove is just over there."

   "Oh."

   "You like it?" he asks, glancing at me.

   "Are you serious? What kind of questions that?" I ask back.

   I love the grin that this brings to his face. "So yes?"

   "Yes. It feels magical."

   "That's what I always said when I was younger," he says, hopping over a little stream to the sandy area. "If I'd had been thinking straight, I'd have brought like a blanket and some snacks."
Because he thinks this is a date or something? He's obviously been planning this, somehow. I smile and shake my head.

   "I'd rather explore."

   "Yeah?"

   "Yes. What's down there?" I'm pointing to a trail that leads down to another cave-looking thing.

   "The smaller caves. Wanna go down?"

   "Yeah." I agree. "You bring all the girls you meet in the summer here?" The infamous question. I'm not even asking it strategically. It was just a question.

   Cohen's surprised by this, though. He looks away from me and starts leading the way down to the trail. I follow, quiet. I wish I was wearing different shoes. I wish he would look at me. Did I mess this up already?

   "No. Firstly, I don't tend to meet new girls in the summer. I don't think it's ever happened, actually." He's still not looking at me when he says this. "Second, I don't bring anyone here. Rex, sure, but-"

   "You and Rex are pretty tight." I change the subject because I think I offended him.

   "Yeah. He's my ride or die. Been through it all, with him." He doesn't hesitate to answer this, at least.

   "That's Kiara, for me."

   He nods. "This is the first time I've come here. Since my dad..."

   Oh shit. He hasn't been back in Avila that long, but he's avoiding coming here? And now he decided to bring me here today? What does this mean?

   "So why me?" I ask, taking a few faster steps to catch up with him.

   I'm asking because this all feels very surreal and good and just want to find out what he's thinking. He got into a fight for me and he got me home safe that night. There's something between us, even if it's just a friendship. I like it.

   We are on the other side now and we're walking down into the cave area before he answers. His expression shows me he's unsure, but he smiles anyway.

   "I don't know. But I know that I like hanging out with you."

   "Me too. You promised I'd have two friends out of this, though," I tease him. "So you better make sure Rex knows I'm his friend, too."

   "I'll tell him," he says, and then shakes his head.

    A minute later, he crouches down and picks up a small, flat rock. He looks at it for a second and then skips it out into the water. It bounces a few times before it settles.

   What I like most about Cohen is that he doesn't feel the need to fill the quiet between us, by talking. He's content to just be and the fact that none of this is awkward is amazing to me. We don't really know each other, but we are getting there. We've told each other things about ourselves. Also, he has this confident way about him. He doesn't care if people like him and I like that.

   I really like it here, at this secluded cave. It feels like a place only we know. I wish we could stay longer, but I know we can't. He remembers, too, and tells me what time we should leave to make it back on time. I agree but we stay until the very last second, because I don't want this to end.

   We're walking back half an hour later, so I'm not late picking up the kids, and Cohen's arm grazes mine as we walk. It's not like intense fireworks go off in my body or anything, but I feel something. The way he glances at me tells me he feels it too.

   "So, you don't have a boyfriend, I assume. Back in Seattle?"

   He's thinking about things between us, too. He has to be, otherwise he wouldn't ask a question like that.

   "I don't. We broke up in April," I answer honestly.

   "Oh, sorry. Why?"

   I look at my feet. "Mostly because I was coming here for the summer and he didn't want to do long distance." When I say it now, it seems silly.

   "Oh. Do you miss him?"

   I shake my head. "Not anymore. I mean, it's been months. Do you miss your ex?"

   He looks a bit flustered at the question. "We broke up in March, so it's been awhile, too. I see her around, though."

   "Ah. Yeah, being here is a good distraction. It would be hard if I had to see him all the time, I guess," I say.

   He nods and we keep walking, staying quiet now. It feels like it takes way less time to get back than it took to get there. He reaches for my hand again, like a gentleman, when we get to the really rocky section, and we hold hands the rest of the way back.

   It's quarter to four when we get to the daycare, which is just down the road from my mom's house. I see Cohen's face looks confused as we approach the house.

   "The daycare is Mrs. Adams?"

   "Yeah. Why?" I ask back.

   "She was my mom's friend." He turns and points to a blue and white house, across the street.

   "That's my house."

   Oh shit. Well, now I know where he lives.

   "Oh, cool." I try to sound casual. "Well, thanks for taking me there. It was awesome."

   "I'm glad you liked it. See you... soon?" he asks, keeping a neutral face.

    "Yeah. Well, I've got your number." I smile at him and he nods.

    "And you know where I live," he adds.

   "Yeah."

   "Bye, Teegan."

   I want him to hug me or something but he just starts backing up. I watch as he crosses the street and waves before opening the door to his house and goes inside.

   I raise my hand to knock on the daycare's door and it hits me that this day out with Cohen was the best time I've had in Avila beach, ever.

   "Hello, Teegan!" Carol Adams greets me a minute later, pushing open the door. She's a bit older than my mom and the most friendly woman you'd ever meet.

   "Hi," I say, still smiling.

   "The kids are out in the back yard. I'll be right back," she says but I notice she's looking at me carefully.

   "Okay, thanks."

   Once Oscar and Josie are in the house and running towards me, the next few minutes go fast. I'm collecting their back packs and receiving hugs and helping with shoes, which they apparently weren't wearing in the back yard. I thank Carol and we go on our way, but I don't stop myself from glancing over at Cohen's house as I shuffle the kids down the road, back to their house.