𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒕 ➵ schlattbur

XX / agastopia

(IGNORE THE PLOTHOLES IN THE LAST CHAPTER LOL i wrote that one over the course of like. 4 months.)

agastopia

noun

admiration of a particular part of someone's body

schlatt

//

"who are you jonathan schlatt?" 

the words rung through his head. echoing over and over. he felt his heart beating through his chest but he it felt as if it'd stop.

schlatt wasn't expecting the question at all. and it never occurred to him that wilbur knew so little about him. and wilbur didn't seem to care at all. he seemed willing to learn it all. and schlatt prayed he wanted to learn more about him. 

and it came back to him. it stung almost. 

he began to reach out, not even realizing wilbur had started to walk away. when did he start walking? 

"please don't go." schlatt said softly. "just let me,"

wilbur turned sharply. "no!" he shouted.

schlatt flinched. "no?" 

"yeah, that's right. no! i don't know you at all! i can't 'just let you' anything. look where it took me!" he started. 

fuck.

"i don't even know you past a house and a name! barely where you come from and who you're friends with!" wilbur kept going.

schlatt felt the panic building in his chest, like his lungs were filling with water and someone had laid bricks in his chest because he felt it all escaping. he didn't know where it was going but he felt whatever he had slip out of his grasp and he was scared. he didn't want to see wilbur upset. he didn't. but he didn't want wilbur to see him this upset either.

it was embarrassing. he'd never been like this for anyone. he didn't care this much about anybody else.

god, how did he get here?

"i don't know you," wilbur spoke, his voice softening. it was hoarse and shallow, but he sounded so sad.

"i," schlatt stopped. what was he even supposed to say?

"please don't go." his words trembled, and he struggled to find anything for a minute.

wilbur waited.

"i'm just.. i'm so scared." he began. "not of you. i just.. i feel so irrational."

"i care so much about you. in ways i don't even care about my own friends. i don't know what to do with myself. i want to know you more than i do," he took in a deep breath. "and it frustrates me that i don't."

"i hate it when you're not happy and i hate it when you're feeling your worst. and i don't even know your worst. i don't know how to help and i want to so bad." another deep breath. "i care so much. too much. i hate admitting it. it keeps me up at night and it freaks me out. it stresses me out, 'n there's no good way to even put it."

"and the worst part is i don't even hate it. it's embarrassing. i'm such a mess and it's over you. you've been nothing but kind to me and i'm such an asshole for it."

"i'm so scared to lose you. i feel like i'm losing my grip on you and it's the worst feeling ever." god, it felt like he just met wilbur yesterday. he still sees that stupid cute dork in him. "i don't even know how to put it in words. it's like i'm so.."

"it's like i'm 12 with a crush. a giddy middle schooler. hell, i am the giddy middle schooler. i am so in love with you wilbur soot. so much it hurts. and i am so sorry."

schlatt doesn't hear anything else but his own heartbeat in his ears. he can feel the tears swelling in his eyes and blurring his vision and he tries his hardest not to let them spill. especially infront of wilbur.

and then he realizes he just told the guy he'd been freaking out over he loved him. 

and then he freaks out again. he snaps back to reality.

wilbur can't even get a word in.

"fuck. sorry. i'm sorry. i don't know why i said that. i'll go. i'm sorry."

and he ran.

and he ran faster than he (questionably) ever had in his whole life.

—

AHAHHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAH. AHHHAHHAHAHA. 

anybody catch the parallel in the last chapter when wilbur ran into schlatt. again. somebody get it so my little writer brain can relax. anyways! have fun suffering in hell. i have nothing else planned beyond this chapter besides wilbur freaking out.

with artfight and the rest of that junk planning might take a while but whatever. i had fun writing the emotion chapter especially w schlatts character. i could talk about ti forever. anyways.

remember to hydrate, eat, and do something you enjoy! love u all and thanks for all the support xx