Read to me ~ Xingyun

38

BIG TW// mentions of abuse, ptsd, violence, descriptions of suicide

Xingqiu POV:

After getting dressed we went downstairs to get breakfast but of course Shenhe was meditating on the table...

Again.

When she saw us she got down and came over to me,

"Xingqiu, I need to talk to you." She spoke in her usual monotone voice,

"About what?" I replied,

"We need to go back to your house."

"My... oh.. why?"

"Well considering you live here now we need to go and get your things since the house is being sold."

"Why is it being sold?" I asked, now sounding more alarmed,

"Well your father is in... Well supposed to be in jail, so the house has gone to your brother and he wants to sell it and move in with his wife." She responded,

"Oh.. ok.."

After that we got in the car and drove to my- the house. We could've walked but it was easier to take the car for moving things,

Chongyun took my hand as we walked in, I think he could see how nervous I was to be back here.

"Xingqiu? Are you going to be ok with this?" He whispered before we walked in,

"I'll.. I'll be fine."

With that we unlocked the door and entered.

I stepped into the long entrance hallway.

It all came flooding back.

The hitting.

The yelling.

The fear.

It was like I could see him.

Stood at the end of that fucking hallway every time I walked into the house a little bit late.

Every time I messed something up and tried to run.

That time I tried to...

He couldn't even bring me back from the hospital.

The fucking butler had to do it.

"Xingqiu?"

I was snapped our of my thoughts.

Thank god.

Chongyuns voice was the single most comforting thing that I could hear right now, being back in this house was horrible but... him being here with me reminded me that I was safe.

He can't hurt me anymore.

We went upstairs to my old room and nothing had been moved since I was last here, there was still the mess from when I was frantically grabbing things and stuffing them into a bag so I could leave as fast as possible, still the books all over the tables, still the messy bedsheets from when I didn't make my bed.

And the window seat. I missed the window seat.

Over in the corner was alaskas bed, and his food bowls, along with a few of his toys that I bought him,

"I want to take those." I spoke, pointing at them,

Shenhe nodded and went to put them in a bag, me and chongyun continued looking around,

As we made our way around the room, picking up clothes and putting them in bags, I sat in the window seat, it felt... strange...

Comforting yet ominous, like if I sat here for too long I would be pulled back in time, to before I had met chongyun, to one of those terrible nights that I sat here... counting pills, I did that alot, I'd have all the pills I could find and I'd count them. Seeing if I could muster up the courage to finally do it. Finally end my suffering. I never did have that courage.. until... until one night.